Spend enough time on ice and you become cool. True for liquor, true for people. Radek Faksa reached absolute zero when he slid on the boards to avoid a big hit, dished the puck, and then scored a few seconds later.
The 23-year-old Czech is a rising Star who finally cracked the big leagues last season with Dallas. He was the 13th overall pick in the 2012 NHL Entry draft, and spent three seasons with Dallas’ minor league affiliate, the Texas Stars, before hitting the ice with the big boys.
This play is awesome for a number of reasons. Faska was shooting from the hip, trying to avoid a painful collision, and his steezy split-second decision resulted in absolute poetry. Behold:
He’s a wizard out there: 6’3, 215 lbs of sauce. You can’t teach that, you can’t coach that; you’re born with that. You’re probably thinking Faksa’s Darkslide on the boards is the most impressive part of the play, but really it’s how he kicks the puck with his skate to control it right after landing. Perfection. Even these goons are grinning – who has the most jacked up smile?
Bobby Hull was one of the best players in NHL history, with some of the worst teeth to go along with it. No matter how many achievements the hall of famer had throughout his career, he just couldn't keep his teeth in his mouth. (Source: Twitter)
Dustin Brown was the captain during the Los Angeles Kings two Stanley Cup Championship teams in 2012 and 2014. He's no longer the captain, partially because that he kinda sucks, but also because they realized they can't have a guy with no teeth as their captain anymore. Okay I made that last part up, but I wouldn't blame the Kings if that was their reason for taking away the "C" on his sweater. (Source: Twitter)
The lone goalie on our list is none other than USA-born Ben Bishop. He's the only goalie on our list because I have no idea how he got his teeth knocked out; goalies wear masks that cover up their entire faces. Regardless, toothless Ben cracks our list. (Source: Twitter)
I'm starting to see a trend with some of the recent guys on the list, and it's that they have absolutely no skills at all, and are just big dumb jack asses looking to start fights on the ice. Oh yeah, and they're missing all of their teeth. Stortini is no different from the other idiots of his kind on the list. (Source: Twitter)
Last but certainly not least, old man Kenny Daneyko. Now unlike some of the guys on this list, Daneyko was actually a pretty solid player who spent his entire with the New Jersey Devils. During that time, he helped them win three Stanley Cups, racked up a ton of penalty minutes, got his jersey retired by the team, and lost all of his teeth. Not a bad career I must say. (Source: Twitter)
It’s dizzying to watch in slow motion – to be able to execute in real time is unfathomable.
The nature of the sport lends itself well to plays like this. Hockey is a fluid sport; non-coach dominated with uninterrupted play. Sure, you can bake in media timeouts to appease the TV overlords that control professional sports, but even then, the game still flows better than any other sport (excluding soccer for the sake of argument).
Football is played in 10-second bursts, basketball stops every time someone scores or the ball goes out of bounds, and baseball rarely gets above 3 RPMs on the tachometer (the instrument that measures RPMs, you savages). But hockey is straight live action. Even substitutions happen on the go, usually. Sometimes things go hilariously wrong: