12 Premier League footballers you wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire
November 23, 2016
Look, some footballers are alright. They seem like lovely fellas with a stable home who love playing the game. Unfortunately, the sport has gathered it’s fair share of utter scumbags over the years and these lot are truly the worst of the bunch.
Now, these aren’t just people that aren’t liked – they are the shit on the bottom of your shoe. Whether it’s some of the detestable acts they’ve committed or their ability to be a massive bellend, a position is on this list is warranted for them. The blood is boiling already.
Lee Hughes is currently playing non-league football at the age of 40 when he should be rotting away in a cell.
Thirteen years ago this detriment to society caused death by dangerous driving, before continually denying the charge despite the courts proving he was lying.
Hughes was released three years into his six-year sentence. What a joke.
A well-known cockwomble on the pitch, Bellamy has been involved in four separate incidents of assault despite never being convicted - funny what being a footballer can do.
People like this don't deserve to be earning millions of pounds, they deserve to be sweeping the roads and getting splashed with water by oncoming commuters. Get in the fucking bin.
Dirty. Just dirty. Nigel Winterburn may have been considered a hero to some Arsenal fans, but he'd probably get a similar reaction to those on Game of Thrones by the rest of the footballing landscape.
The guy was never really even good enough to be considered a top player either, as highlighted by just two appearances for England. Fact.
El Hadji Diouf
Jesus even his face is enough to make you squirm. In France, in England and even in Scotland this utter shitbag has been responsible for doing some pretty horrible things on the pitch.
Spitting seemed to be his trademark move over the course of his career, in addition to a range of smaller transgressions. But hey, let's not downplay this - Diouf is the lowest of the low.
Let's save some time and make ourselves a list. Terry was fined for comments made during an incident with Americans after 9/11. Terry assaulted a bouncer. Terry reportedly had an extramarital affair with Wayne Bridge's girlfriend and he was also banned for a number of games due to racial abuse.
Can we just lock him up right now and throw away the key?
Having been labeled as unprofessional by many of his former teammates and managers, it's no wonder that Mark Bosnich finds himself on this list.
The guy flushed his career down the toilet as he developed a cocaine addiction which saw the keeper slip down the ranks in the footballing landscape. Add that to a number of other acts including doing a Nazi salute. Dickhead.
This one goes without saying really. Barton has always been, and will likely always be an insufferable piece of shit. The only difference is that now he feels as if he's gained some sort of notorious reputation that makes the guy untouchable. Wrong.
Whether it was breaking the nose and jaw of a fellow teammate or behaving like a retarded and rabid pitbull on the pitch, Dennis Wise was never far away from controversy.
Many saw him as a leader and a scrappy, determined player on the pitch - but forget all that. Wise disguised his lack of ability with this reckless mentality. Good for him, I guess.
Aside from making vile comments to Zidane in the World Cup Final, Marco Materazzi has a history with being a massive bellend.
The Italian has always been billed as a "hard man" but that's just a 'cool' way of saying that he brought the game into disrepute.
Even Pepe's face is just, urgh.
Purposely injuring players, behaving as if he's bigger than every team he's ever been on and shitting all over the people who gave him a chance - that's Roy Keane for you, folks.
Well, of course he's here.
So grab your knives and your pitchforks and proclaim your utter hatred for these shit stains of society. Some are far worse than others, but let us not forget that at the end of the day – a leopard will never change it’s spots.