Ericsson Believes in Points Despite lack of Existence

Sauber are yet to get off the mark in 2016 after a garbage opening half of the season. The Swiss team are looking to uncover the mysteries of “points” ahead of the Hungarian GP.

Marcus Ericsson and Felipe Nasr have been banging their heads against the wall and each other after their highest finish of 12th place in a Grand Prix so far has seen them milk everything from the car.

Sauber have been busy at their Swiss headquarters and believe to be a on the verge of a breakthrough in their pursuit for uncovering the existence of points. A Sauber scientist said,

“We’ve crunched some more numbers into our existential device and believe that these things called ‘points’ do indeed exist. Well, theoretically at least. We predict that our cars need to be travelling at approximately the speed of Toro Rosso or Haas to actualize and unlock concrete proof that points exist.

We’ve been studying points for a long time, and are yet to make a breakthrough in our tireless pursuit. Some of the guys tried a Schrodinger’s cat experiment, but instead of a cat, we put a copy of the Constructors standings into the box. It’s really weird, week after week, whether we do or don’t open the box, we still have zero points.”

– Sauber Scienist

mad sci

In real news, Marcus Ericsson is hoping for a repeat of last year’s Hungaroring race, where he drove through the debris to secure an unlikely 10th place. The Swede said,

“Looking back to last year’s Hungarian Grand Prix, my memories are not too bad. I was able to score one point by finishing the race in the top ten. We had a decent pace in the race, and I hope we can achieve a similar result this season.

It is good that we continue our tests with the new rear in order to proceed with our aero evaluation. It will be important to compare the data we collected from Silverstone to that we will gather in Budapest. Afterwards we will head directly to the German Grand Prix. At the Hockenheimring we will continue to work on the development of the car.”

– Marcus Ericsson

It must drive Ericsson and Nasr up the wall (at a quicker speed than the C35 can muster) that their car isn’t getting any real updates for the rest of the season. The drivers have been left out to dry by the team in that it is Sauber’s sole responsibility to give their drivers a chance with a consistent in-season upgrades program.


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