In a shocking track-side revelation, Manor racing have appointed an anonymous Hungarian Track Marshal as a “quicker” replacement to the out-of-form Rio Haryanto.
The team informed the Indonesian driver just before his track walk today. Haryanto has been missing ever since.
The lucky track marshal appointed with the Manor seat usually covers and takes care of turn-3, but will be center-stage this weekend as he replaces his orange jumpsuit with racing attire. He said,
“I was just tending to the corner, you know, making sure the kerbs don’t straighten up, checking the track’s pulse at regular intervals, that sort of thing. When out of nowhere, the Manor boss came up to me and said, ‘Hi mate, we saw you parallel parking your Vauxhall Astra earlier in the parking lot. We’ve done some tests and would relish having you racing for us instead of Rio’. I was naturally quite shocked, but after checking that turn-3 looked stable, I said ‘yes’.
– Turn-3 Track Marshal
Manor have released an unofficial statement, claiming that this sort of thing isn’t harsh or risky. It said,
“We haven’t completely thrown Rio out, we’ve spoken to the Hungaroring track hierarchy and are pleased to announce that Haryanto will be given full responsibility of marshaling turn-3 this weekend. As for our current situation, we are undergoing a cockpit widening procedure so our new driver fits.”
– Unofficial Manor statement
If anyone knows of the current whereabouts of Rio Haryanto, please inform anyone in Budapest. (We’ve already checked the back of the grid, he’s not there).