10 Best Masters Groupings and their Fantasy Trash Talk

The Masters - Final Round

Groupings and tee times for the 79th Masters Tournament were announced on Tuesday, and there’s no shortage of quality in many of the threesomes. We picked out ten we love the most, and had some fun imagining what their conversations+trash talk might be like.

10 Best Masters Groupings

1. 9:02 a.m. – Patrick Reed, Keegan Bradley, Ian Poulter

Make sure you’re ready to go at 9:02 am for this grouping, which features one of the most promising young Americans on the PGA Tour (Reed), a past major champion (Bradley), and 12 time European Tour winner (Poulter).

Poulter: “Hey Keegan, are you boys ever going to beat us in a Ryder Cup?”
Bradley: “I’m not sure Ian. Do you ever plan on winning a major or are you too busy getting ready for Paris Fashion Week?”

PGA Championship - Final Round

2. 9:24 a.m. – Bubba Watson, Justin Rose, Gunn Yang(x)

The defending Masters champion and two time green jacket winner headlines the 9:24 start time. Justin Rose has four top 15 finishes at Augusta and is a trendy sleeper pick this week. Gunn Yang is a promising amateur from South Korea who won the 2014 U.S. Amateur.

Yang: “Hi Bubba, Hi Justin, I’m really happy to be playing with you guys. Any advice this week?”
Bubba: “Not really kid. Can you do me a favor and go grab me a pimento sandwich? Thanks.”
Rose: “Me too while you’re at it!”


3. 9:35 a.m. – Dustin Johnson, Adam Scott, Antonio Murdaca(x)

Dustin Johnson has been an absolute beast this year since returning from his leave of absence, with a win at the WGC-Cadillac Championship and three other top 10 finishes. 2013 Masters winner Adam Scott is flying under the radar this week due to the return of Tiger Woods, but the world No. 6 should once again be a force at Augusta. Amateur Antonio Murdaca won the 2014 Asia-Pacific Amateur Championship.

Scott: “Dustin, what’s it feel like to be the second best looking guy in a group for a change?”
Johnson: “Did you say something? I was texting my smoking hot fiancee.”


4. 10:41 a.m. – Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, Ryan Moore

There’s plenty of star power in the 10:41 grouping. World No. 1 Rory McIlroy looks to complete the career Grand Slam this week. Phil Mickelson has three green jackets to his name and comes in off an impressive showing last week at the Shell Houston Open. 32-year-old Ryan Moore has won back-to-back CIMB Classics.

Phil: “Hey Rory, thanks a lot for stealing Tiger Woods’ EA Sports game.”
Rory: “Don’t mention it Phil. Say if I don’t win this week would you mind if I borrowed one of your green jackets?”


5. 10:52 a.m. – Martin Kaymer, J.B. Holmes, Brandt Snedeker

Two time major winner Martin Kaymer headlines this group, as he looks for his first green jacket. Kentucky native J.B. Holmes is playing the best golf off his career, and comes off a win at last week’s Shell Houston Open. Nashville native Brandt Snedeker finished 3rd at Augusta in 2008 and 6th back in 2013.

Holmes: “Brandt my Wildcats kicked the stuffing out of your Commodores this season, in football and basketball.”
Brandt: “Yawn.”
Kaymer: “When you say football, do you mean American football or soccer? Because Germany won the World Cup last year, in case you guys were wondering.”


6. 12:09 p.m. – Jim Furyk, Ernie Els, Zach Johnson

Call this the old timer’s group. 44-year-old Jim Furyk has four top 10 finishes at Augusta. Four time major winner Ernie Els seeks his first green jacket at age 45. 39-year-old Zach Johnson is the youngin’ of the group, and the only one to win the Masters (2007).

Furyk: “Who’s idea was it to have us go out at 12:09 p.m? I’m due for an afternoon nap soon.”
Els: “Tell me about it. At least we got to sleep in.”
Johnson: “Jim aren’t you a sponsor of Five Hour Energy? What are you whining about?


7. 1:04 p.m. – Matt Kuchar, Graeme McDowell, Brooks Koepka

The last three years at Augusta, Matt Kuchar has finished 3rd, 8th and 5th. Northern Ireland’s Graeme McDowell is not afraid of the big moment. The 2010 U.S. Open champion has only made two cuts at Augusta in his career. 24-year-old Brooks Koepka is starting to really come into his own, and won his first event on Tour in February by winning the Phoenix Open.

Koepka: “Hey Graeme do you have any of that beer of yours on you by any chance?”
Graeme: “Umm can I see your I.D?”


8. 1:15 p.m. – Henrik Stenson, Jordan Spieth, Billy Horschel

This group features two of the top five players in the world. 21-year-old Jordan Spieth is playing golf as good as anyone on the planet at the moment. In his last 9 PGA events, Spieth has won twice, and finished runner up twice. The Texan also finished second in the 2014 Masters. Not to be outdone is Stenson, who might be the best player in the world to not win a major yet. The 39-year-old Swede is playing sensational at the moment, and has finished in the top five in each of the last four events he’s played. Rounding out the group is the reigning FedEx Cup champion, Billy Horschel.

Spieth: “Henrik, you’re like twice my age right?”
Stenson: “Not quite, but good one kid.”
Horschel: “Henrik please keep your clothes on during the round. Thanks.”

Stanford St. Jude Championship-Final Round

9. 1:48 p.m. – Tiger Woods, Jimmy Walker, Jamie Donaldson

Guess who’s back? Four time Masters champion Tiger Woods is the talk of the sports world this week, as he makes his return from injury. All eyes will be on him this week. Jimmy Walker is two weeks removed from a win at the Valero Texas Open, and finished 8th at the Masters last year. Jamie Donaldson has struggled so far in 2015. The 2014 Ryder Cup hero for the Europeans has missed his last two cuts at the Valspar Championship and at the Shell Houston Open. Donaldson finished 14th at Augusta last year in only his second time played.

Walker: “Tiger did you make sure to activate your glutes properly before the round?”
Tiger: “Good one Jimmy! Remind me not to laugh when you don’t make the cut.”


10. 1:59 p.m. – Rickie Fowler, Jason Day, Sergio Garcia

Rickie Fowler finished in the top five in every major in 2014, but is off to a slow start to his 2015 campaign. Jason Day is a popular pick to win his first green jacket this week. The 27-year-old Aussie and world No. 5 has two top three finishes at Augusta, and looks primed to break through. Rounding out the group is none other than Sergio Garcia. At 35-years-old, ‘El Nino’ is the veteran of this trio. Garcia is very up and down at Augusta. He has three top 10 finishes but has also missed the cut five times, including last year.

Rickie: “So which one of us is actually going to break through and win a major one of these years?”
Sergio: “Don’t look at me. Jason?”
Day: “Sergio please just don’t throw any clubs at me during the round.”


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