It’s Over! Woods and Vonn Breakup


by Benjamin Potter

BREAKING — Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn have announced they are breaking up via their social media channels. After a fairytale romance spanning three years and multiple rumours of wedding bells, the power couple have decided to call it a day.

Vonn made the announcement through her Facebook page – although we hope this isn’t how Tiger found out.

“After nearly three years together, Tiger and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. I will always cherish the memories that we’ve created together. Unfortunately, we both lead incredibly hectic lives that force us to spend a majority of our time apart. I will always admire and respect Tiger. He and his beautiful family will always hold a special place in my heart.”

Woods released a weirdly similar statement on his website that looked as if he copied, pasted and re-tweaked Vonn’s Facebook post.

“I have great admiration, respect and love for Lindsey and I’ll always cherish our time together. She has been amazing with Sam and Charlie and my entire family. Unfortunately, we lead very hectic lives and are both competing in demanding sports. It’s difficult to spend time together.”

It was only last month that Vonn made a public appearance at the US Masters when she walked with Woods and his children during the Par 3 contest.

“I feel privileged to be along for the ride, and I help as much as I can,” Vonn said at a movie premiere. “They’re great kids — I love ’em.”

Too bad she didn’t love Tiger quite the same.

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