By Matt Cohen | Site Editor
Every Sunday night for eight seasons, we had a front row seat to the Hollywood glam life. HBO’s Entourage (2004-2011), which is now coming to the big screen June 3rd, was iconic and the first show to give viewers a behind-the-scenes look and what it’s like to be a movie star. It was truly the guy’s guy show – pretty girls, fast cars, all-night parties and lots of bro moments. With the movie set to hit theaters nationwide, what would happen if the show/movie were to be recast with professional golfers? Who would be who? We’re here to solve that riddle and have some fun while we’re at it.
Vinny Chase, as portrayed by Rory McIlroy
This casting decision is so easy you probably thought of it yourself when you read the headline for this article. Think about it. Rory McIlroy IS Vinny Chase (Adrian Grenier) in every way:
– They both rock the exact same hairstyle, and have thick, naturally curly hair.
– They both get the pretty girls. In the show, Vinny Chase basically gets to have any girl he wants, whether it’s for one night or for a longer relationship. McIlroy is no slouch either, having previously been engaged to Caroline Wozniacki. Rory’s new girlfriend Erica Stoll is also gorgeous.
– They’re both the best at what they do. In Entourage, we first meet Vinny Chase as a promising young actor, and the entire series basically follows his climb up the celebrity and A-list ladder. By the time the series went off the air, Chase is as A-list as they come. Aquaman became the highest grossing film of all-time. Gatsby was a commercial and critical success. McIlroy is also the best at what he does. The World No. 1 is a four time major champion at just 26-years-old.
– Chase and McIlroy both have expensive taste – from their house, their cars, and everything in-between.
Put simply, Vinny Chase and Rory McIlroy are pretty much the exact same person. Except one is a movie star, and the other the best golfer on the planet.
Eric Murphy “E,” as portrayed by Jordan Spieth
This was probably the toughest character to recast. Eric Murphy (Kevin Connolly), or “E,” is Vinny’s best friend and manager on the show. The two grew up together in Queens and have the closest brotherly bond on the show.
So why did we tab Jordan Spieth as our recasting decision? Well, they both kind of look alike, similar to how much Rory resembles Vinny Chase. But more importantly, they’re both number two. Ouch.
Being number two isn’t a bad thing. Spieth is the No. 2 player in the world. Which is awesome. But he isn’t No. 1, not as long as Rory is around. On Entourage, that’s basically who E is. Detractors of his character will say he’s basically Vinny’s sidekick. Now, that’s not entirely fair to say, because E does have a huge role in Vinny’s career.
We’d also be remiss if we didn’t point out that E ends up with the best looking girl to ever appear on the entire series – the immortal and beautiful Sloan, as played by the stunningly gorgeous Emmanuelle Chriqui (10/10). Spieth also has a pretty good looking girl under his arm – high school sweetheart Annie Verret. Maybe being number two isn’t such a bad thing after all?
Johnny “Drama” Chase, as portrayed by Ben Crane
If you polled fans of the show, at least half would say that Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) was the most hilarious cast-member. I’m going out on a limb by saying if you asked pro golfers who the class clown of the PGA Tour is, most would point a finger at Ben Crane. Think about it. Crane wears Lycra. He makes fun of himself. He is in a satirical rap group/boy band with Bubba Watson, Hunter Mahan and Rickie Fowler. Crane is the definition of hilarious.
The same is absolutely true of Drama, Vinny Chase’s older brother. On the show, Drama is a C-list actor. He once starred in the cult TV show Viking Quest. Later in the show, he finds success again on the small screen, first with the show Five Towns, and then with the animated series Johnny’s Bananas.
But most of the show, Drama is comic relief. The clown. The guy with the ridiculous one-liner. Someone who just can’t seem to hold onto long term success. He is the older brother we all wish we had, and the bro we all want in our own personal entourage.
Turtle, as portrayed by Jason Dufner
Jason Dufner is Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) for two simple reasons: (1) both routinely out-kick their coverage with the women in their lives, and (2) both can’t seem to ever stay at the same weight.
Ok, let’s dissect each of these points further. Jason and Amanda Dufner were one of golf’s power couple, that is before they decided to get a divorce earlier this year. But if we’re just being as superficial as possible, Amanda is way out of Jason’s league. She’s pretty close to a perfect 10, while Jason is rocking the dad bod these days.
On Entourage, Turtle is routinely dating women that are much better looking than he is. This is never truer than in Season 5, when he starts dating actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who played Meadow on The Sopranos. At first, the guys don’t even believe Turtle has a girlfriend, and they give him a hard time about it. It isn’t until Jamie-Lynn tells the rest of the group over the phone that she and Turtle had oral sex that they believe it’s true.
Point two – both Jason and Turtle can’t ever seem to figure out how much to weigh. Their weight goes up and down like a seesaw. Lately, Turtle has slimmed down and looked pretty solid. In the trailers for the movie, he appears to be his slimmer version of himself. Nice going Turtle.
Ari Gold, as portrayed by Miguel Angel Jimenez
Let’s be honest with ourselves. Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) is the best character there is on Entourage. There’s just no way around it. He stole every scene he was in. He had the best lines and the most laugh out loud moments. As Vinny Chase’s neurotic super-agent, he was comedic gold. But underneath all that swearing and over the top hilarity was someone who cares about Vinny and his career. That’s where Miguel Angel Jimenez comes in.
Interesting choice? Let’s explain why. Both are ‘the man.’ Jimenez gets a hole-in-one almost every week. He dances. He smokes cigars. He doesn’t back down from fights (looking at you Keegan Bradley). He stretches like a Tibetan yoga instructor. Jimenez is like the older statesman now on Tour, but he’s still got as much swag as players half his age and is as competitive as any player in the game.
No one comes as close to Ari Gold as Jimenez. Ari can and does do basically do whatever he wants on the show. His temper is unmatched but he can also be cool under pressure. As we started out by saying, he steals every scene he’s in. It’s hard to find someone like Ari, who truly is one of a kind – but then again, so is Miguel.
So, did we hit a homerun with our recasting decisions? Let us know who you would choose if you were to recast Entourage with professional golfers. Or better yet, let us know which golfers you’d want to be in your own personal Entourage.