5 Awful Rulers Who Probably Would’ve Killed You For Slow Play

  • Rulers from around the world who would’t take any rubbish including North Korea, Iraq and Facist Italy.

I can handle high green fees, brown fairways and a copious amount of sand in bunkers that makes me feel like I’m on a beach in Barbados, BUT I CAN’T HANDLE SLOW PLAY. I don’t know about you, but slow players bring out the dark side in me. When I witness slow play, I imagine whipping out a lightsaber from my golf bag and charging at the culprits in a move Mr. Darth Vader would be proud of.

This week, a conference will be held with European Tour chief Keith Pelley to introduce “a completely different philosophy on slow play,” a philosophy these 5 terrible people below would’ve probably applauded.

Kim Jong-Un

Courtney of smilesumo.com
Courtney of smilesumo.com

Kim Jong Un is known for his explosive temper, and like me, he wouldn’t stand for the sort of hell that golfers are exposed to on public golf courses in the United States.

Idi Amin 

idi amin

Idi Amin was the third president of Uganda and arguably one of the most evil men Africa has ever seen. Amin’s rule was characterized by mass genocide, nepotism and human rights abuses. Known for grotesque forms of torture, slow players would not have had an easy time under Idi’s rule.

Pol Pot

pol pot

Pol Pot was the infamous Cambodian revolutionary who led the Khmer Rouge – the Communist Party of Kampuchea which dictated from 1963-1997. An estimated 1.5 million people living in Cambodia were killed during the brutal Khmer Rouge regime for much lesser crimes than slow play.

Saddam Hussein

saddam hussein

Saddam Hussein was the fifth President of Iraq and ruled the country with an iron fist from 1979-2003. While no one has been able to put a number on the number of innocent civilians he killed, his regime included chemical warfare agains the Kurds, the infamous reprisal against Dujali, the invasion of Kuwait and the slaughtering of thousands of Shiites in southern Iraq at the end of the Persian Gulf War in 1991. Think you could get away with 5 hour rounds in Iraq? Pshhh, you were a dead man.

Benito Mussolini


Affectionately known as Il Duce, he was the leader of the National Fascist Party, governing Italy as Prime Minister from 1922 until his ousting in 1943. He ruled constitutionally until 1925, before turning his democracy into a full-blown dictatorship. If you held Il Duce up on the course, it was almost guaranteed that you wouldn’t see the light of day again.

Let’s try and take this great sport we all love into the future and speed up our rounds on the golf course. While the above men were awful, horrible people, they wouldn’t have allowed 5 hour rounds. Why should we?