Everton manager, Roberto Martinez, is the latest in a long line of unimaginative people involved in football to trot out the usual cliches regarding Leicester City’s title hopes?Therefore, the Toffees gaffer will be getting the ‘This is what I really meant’ treatment – Laurent Koscielny had it yesterday.
“At the moment it’s impossible to tell [who’s going to win the league], it’s the most open league I’ve been involved in,”
Translation: “I’m not fucking mystic meg. Why do you ask me this inane questions all the time?”
“For me, if you were going to guarantee a starting XI, I think it is for Leicester to lose it. But you can’t guarantee everyone will be fully fit or not suspended.
Translation: “It would be a shame if Vardy fell down the stairs, wouldn’t it…”
“But I feel now the title is for Leicester to lose, it would be an incredible achievement.”
Translation: “Why does no one talk about the time I kept Wigan Athletic up anymore?”
Because press conferences are horrendously boring, talk moved onto rumours of Phil Jagielka joining the Chinese revolution…
“We are not in a situation to lose any players and Phil Jagielka is our club captain,” he added. “He has been [playing] at a good level and there is no substance in that rumour.”
Translation: “My god I wish that was true; I’d walk him to China myself.”
“I can guarantee you that no-one is going to leave between now and the end of the season, unless it’s on a loan period to the Championship for a player we feel needs playing time.”
Translation: “Anyone want Leon Osman?”