Not The Manager But Man United Set For Huge Shake-Up

Ed Woodward has spoken!

When the executive vice-chairman speaks, it usually results in Manchester United fans pulling such expressions as this:

Memes are then created, jokes go viral and the Red Devils are left red-faced, wondering whether Sir Alex Ferguson might consider coming back.

The latest comments from the football community’s laughing stock shouldn’t provide too much ammunition, though:

“Giving youth a chance is part of our philosophy, part of our DNA. We took the departure of Brian McClair last summer as an opportunity to do a root and branch review of the academy, that’s now complete and changes are underway. Announcements will follow in the coming days.”

But how exactly will United revamp and find their next Class of 92?

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer to come in a attacking coach

Training sessions would last no more than 10 minutes, with the definition of ‘super-sub’ showcasing that you don’t need 90 minutes to make an impact in front of goal.



Roy Keane to host anger management classes

The former Manchester United captain is stripped of his role and ordered to attend anger management classes – which will be taken over by Nemanja Vidic – within the first week of getting the job.


Stop David Bellion taking lessons

Who an earth went: “We need more David Bellions. Get him to teach the future of United”?



The offspring of the Class 92

Stockpile the academy with the children of the iconic group of United footballers – maybe don’t worry about going for Nicky Butt’s if he has any.