One-Time Man United Sensation Is Clearly Delusional

Wilfried Zaha has clearly been hanging out with Leicester City’s Marc Albrighton too much, with the Crystal Palace winger the latest average English footballer to talk up the possibility of him making Roy Hodgson’s England squad for Euro 2016.

Speaking to the Croydon Advertiser, Zaha said: “I think England have got pacey players, but I’d add more skill really. I will take on players.”

“There is good pace and passing in the squad, but I can beat a man which will open up the space for someone else, so that’s what I’d add to the team.”

“Getting on the plane with England will be the main thing, but if I don’t I’ll just enjoy my holidays.”

“It is indescribable to say what it’s like playing for England. You get so much support wherever you go and you’re playing with top quality players.”

“It’s like a dream and hopefully I can taste it again. I have not given up on going to the European Championships at all – every game I just want to kick on and do well.”

“If I manage to get into the England setup, I’ll be buzzing.”
Wilfried Zaha

Zaha clearly isn’t short of confidence – or delusions of grandeur – and will no doubt be looking to tick off the following from his bucket list.

First Man On The Moon

No one tell Wilf about Neil Armstrong or Buzz Aldrin.

Source: wattsupwiththat
Source: wattsupwiththat


Nobel Peace Prize

After failing to turn up for training for a week in order to discover the ingredients that make up McDonald’s Big Mac sauce, Zaha will put himself forward for the Nobel Peace Prize after figuring out what makes up that delightful heart attack waiting to happen.


Oscar Winner

After making a 30-second voiceover cameo in Toy Story 4, Zaha will believe he is entitled to winning ‘Best Actor In A Leading Role’ and ‘Best Actress In A Leading Role’.

Source: YouTube
Source: YouTube


Discover The Cure For Cancer

To be fair, it would be bloody amazing if the former Red Devils winger managed to do it and, out of all the things on his bucket list, this is the one the deluded Zaha should try and tick off.