Major League Soccer is on the rise – and a rapid one, at that – with players like Sebastian Giovinco moving over to the States in the peak of their careers, despite plenty of European clubs in the Champions League vying for his signature.
MLS, rather unsurprisingly, displays all those Americanisms of colour, happiness, ‘over-the-top-ness’ and being genuinely happy for another person or team’s success – don’t they just make you sick; why can’t they be bitchy and jealous like us Brits?
Ultimately, they’re great qualities to possess in day-to-day life and the people of the United Kingdom could definitely do with adopting some of those traits but, when it comes to football/soccer (delete as applicable), it’s time MLS fans sacked up and got into the true spirit of the beautiful game!
During last season’s debut season in Major League Soccer, New York City were concerned with the lack of atmosphere at the Yankee Stadium. Therefore, NYCFC (try saying that after a few ?) decided to hand out chant sheets.
Fuck that cringeworthy bullocks, guys and dolls; just call the referee a wanker, mug off your opposition’s fans and make it extremely hostile for the away team’s players.
Pre-match pie and pints
Toss away that soda and pretzel and pick up that pint of lukewarm piss that goes by the name of Carlsberg – done that? Right, now order a congealed meat mess, that is inside dry cardboard pretending to be pastry, and go to town on that Pukka pie.
WARNING: Do not eat the aforementioned Pukka pie unless a toilet is within 100-yards of you
Old School Football Shirts
SEE ALSO: This Is What Life Was Like The Last Time Arsenal Won The League
Going to the Emirates Stadium and seeing the JVC logo dotted about or being at Old Trafford and catching the odd sighting of SHARP is what football day is all about.
Sure, MLS hasn’t been around for too long, but every team has a retro/classic kit, so dig out those ‘old school’ jerseys from your wardrobes, MLS fans.
Home and away pubs
No. Don’t sit together. Don’t hug. Don’t sympathise with your rivals’ despair. Segregate yourselves from the moment you pull on your team’s colours and only communicate with the opposition fanbase if it is to display an obscene gesture.
Sure, given the size of America, it’s hard for fans to follow their teams across the country but it’s not impossible to do.
As Bergkamp famously said: “I really like Arsenal. But you, do you like Arsenal? Or just Arsenal with trophies?” the sentiment from the Gunners legend is nothing short of beautiful; you’ve got to show your love for your club no matter what, and that includes travelling 2000+ miles!