Fan Has A Genius Solution To The Premier League’s Escalating Ticket Prices

Source: Getty
Source: Getty

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Not quite sure how it worked, but protesting by still buying the tickets – only to leave/enter early/late – has had the desired impact, with the news that Premier League away tickets will cost no more than £30 – great news for touts who can now make an even bigger markup?.

It’s not exactly what fans of the beautiful game were asking for, but it’s certainly a start and a step in the right direction.

Now the question is, how much can Premier League clubs realistically charge their own fanbase for home games?


Should be free for the next gazillion years to make up for how much the Gooners have overpaid for the last decade.

Aston Villa

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They should pay you to come see them.


The Cherries success story and rise to the Premier League warms the heart; they’d opt for an honesty policy ‘pay as much as you see fit’ because they just seem like such a decent club.


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Seeing as the Blues are a vile club, they’d ask supporters to sacrifice their youngest born in order to enter the depths of hell that is Stamford Bridge.

Crystal Palace

It would be capped at £20 a ticket but Alan Pardew, a man of ridiculous ego, would setup a scheme where fans would receive a 10% discount if they tweeted him a compliment.


£30 a ticket but the Toffees fanbase would overpay on purpose in the hope that the money would be used to basically bribe Lukaku to remain with Everton despite Roberto Martinez being well out of his depth.

Leicester City

After winning the Premier League, the Foxes will be able to charge whatever they want because you can’t put a price on coming to the King Power Stadium to watch Gareth Bale, Thomas Muller and Xabi Alonso go toe-to-toe with Danny Drinkwater et al.


The delusion of the Reds mean that the club would ask them what they’d be expecting to pay, to which the supporters group would reply: “We’d happily pay three figures for a ticket, because to see the likes of Joe Allen, Kolo Toure and Simon Mignolet isn’t an opportunity to be sniffed at; you pay for what you get.”

Manchester City

£1 a ticket and they still wouldn’t be able to fill their stadium for a Champions League final.

Manchester United

Irrelevant. All their fans are now Leicester City fans.

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Newcastle United

Source: Hex Jam
Source: Hex Jam

However much it costs to make those horrendously large Sports Direct mugs (we’ve all got one).

Norwich City

Robert Snodgrass Norwich City
Source: Daily Mail

Whatever the going rate is for a Championship match.


Source: Who Scored
Source: Who Scored

Whatever the answer is to: How much they overpaid for Shane Long ➗ The capacity of St Mary’s

Stoke City

However much it costs to give every single Stoke City fan a makeover.


adam johnson

There’s an Adam Johnson joke in here somewhere.

Swansea City

Can you really put a price on European teams coming to the Liberty Stadium?

Tottenham Hotspur

The most overpriced tickets in the league because Daniel Levy is Daniel Levy.


Ben Watson Watford

Can you really charge someone to come see Ben Watson in midfield?

West Brom

Do people even go to watch West Brom?

West Ham

Screen Shot 2016-03-09 at 17.18.14

They’d be free just because they’d make the taxpayer pay for the tickets; just like the stadium.


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