These Players’ Barbers Should Be Shot For Their Ugly Haircuts

Some people are born with great hair, and some are born renegades. Feast your eyes.


rat tail

The force is strong with this one. Rodrigo Palacio is a little old for a padawan, but you know how the saying goes, “It’s never too late to become a Jedi”. I wonder how he’ll act when he learns that Sepp Blatter is his father.


dominic oduro hair

Dominic Oduro is so far ahead of his time it’s disgusting. He’s a human anachronism; the Nikola Tesla of haircuts. He’s an emissary from the future and pizza is his muse.


giovanni simeone
Source: Twitter

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Giovanni Simeone defied convention when he turned up to River Plate training camp a few years ago rocking this rare subterranean cut. “Nah, fuck a fade…make my shit look like underwater sea kelp.”


MONTPELLIER, FRANCE: Colombian midfielder Carlos Valderrama walks off the field at the end of the World Cup second first-round Group G match between Colombia and Tunisia, 22 June at the Stade de la Mosson in Montpellier. (ELECTRONIC IMAGE) AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read OMAR TORRES/AFP/Getty Images)

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Carlos Valderrama had arguably the greatest haircut the beautiful game’s ever seen. Before the Gram, before the hype, he did it for the love. Truly a flow pioneer.


LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 25: (THE SUN OUT, THE SUN ON SUNDAY OUT) Mario Balotelli of Liverpool sports a new hair-cut during a training session at Melwood Training Ground on September 25, 2014 in Liverpool, England. (Photo by John Powell/Liverpool FC via Getty Images)
Source: Getty Images

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Super Mario’s hair game is known worldwide – versatile, dynamic, and consistently offensive. Some people like Mike Tyson’s face tat, and some people really like it. I’ll let you decide which camp Mario Balotelli falls into.


brek shea
Source: Pinterest

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There’s one category Brek Shea is actually qualified to represent his county in: outrageous hairstyles. Short on the sides, long on top. Mackelmore, eat your heart out.


Source: Wikipedia

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Mustafa Amini is a source of inspiration for old ladies the world over with those rich mahogany curls. He probably keeps stamps in his purse and writes checks at the grocery store.


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Doctors didn’t think Marek Hamsik would survive long after he was born without a dorsal fin. Thanks to an anonymous donation, he beat the odds.


Source: FourFourTwo
Source: FourFourTwo

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Kyle Beckerman, is that…a nest?


Source: YouTube
Source: YouTube

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Gervinho’s hair is great, but it’s his dominant fivehead that really sets him apart. Look at all that real estate up there. I heard he’s putting condos in.


Source: TheDailyTackle
Source: TheDailyTackle

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Crafted in the image of his childhood idol, Marouane Fellaini’s iconic hair is a tribute to legendary entertainer Sideshow Bob. And he’s got one hoop earring in, just like Mike.


Who has the best flow?

Marouane Fellaini

Carlos Valderrama