Scandal Brewing In Seattle As Sounders Rot From Inside Out

sigi stinking up the joint

Something’s rotten inside the Seattle Sounders organization.

For a club that aspires to lift the MLS Cup at the end of 2016, the season has been one big clusterfuck.

This team is going nowhere fast.

Look at how they allowed their most productive player Obafemi Martins to leave.

I get that they can’t match the outrageous money that the Chinese Super League was offering, but come on – you can’t give up your best player without getting anything in return.

Peep these Oba highlights.

SEE ALSO: Big Shoes For Jordan Morris To Fill After Sudden Departure Of Obafemi Martins

Some brain trust the Sounders have…

Is there a cabal of scouts, agents, coaches, and moneymen in charge or a monkey throwing darts to decide?

You gotta roll with the punches. Don’t just stand there and get hit.

SEE ALSO: Yaya Sanogo Sees Red For Violet Assault

Without Martins, the Sounders need to adapt or they’ll die. Maybe not die, but they sure as hell won’t win many games.

Oba’s exit frees up a Designated Player slot and the Sounders have $3 million extra dollars they were planning on using to pay his salary.

I’m no MacGyver, but I think I know how the Sounders can reconcile this situation…

Just kidding.

Surely they can pluck someone skilled from a league around the world who can stop the bloodletting.

What they really need is a true number 10.

Not since the days of Freddie Ljunberg have the Sounders had a proper attacking center-mid.

For whatever reason, Freddie never gelled with the team (or perhaps its owners), even though he was a godsend on paper.

freddie ljunberg 1

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Call me naive, but I have a hard time believing that he was just a huge asshole, deserving 100% of the blame.

I think he didn’t see eye-to-eye with management on some things, and instead of reconciling the relationship, they let it atrophy and die.

Maybe the European star had a hard time taking direction from a coach who can’t run a lap in Sigi Schmid.

sigi fat

This is not an indictment of Sigi or his lifestyle. I actually like the guy.

But if you coach professional athletes for a living, you invite an elephant in the room if you look like that.

“How the hell is this fat guy gonna tell me I need to run more?”

Again, this is not to throw shade on Sigi.

The best coach I ever had was a fat guy. I’m just sayin’…try a diet, my guy. G up on some salads. Cut out the beer. If you need a drink go for the hard stuff.

More importantly, however, is winning in the playoffs.

The Sounders wither and die in the playoffs every year like clockwork.

I’ve never seen anything less impressive.

Screen Shot 2016-03-08 at 12.44.34 PM
And every year, Sigi is back at the helm come spring time.

Obviously, winning in the playoffs is not important to Sigi’s job security.

At this point, the Sounders have become enablers, encouraging Sigi to disappoint year after year. Shame on them for perpetuating this mediocrity.

You know what the Cleveland Cavaliers did this year?

They fired their coach who brought them to the NBA finals last year and had them in first place in the Eastern Conference halfway through the season this year.

And he did all that without Kyrie Irving. I’m not saying it was the right or the wrong move, but it’s clear they’re about winning ‘ships in Cleveland.

Can the same be said about the Seattle Sounders?

The way they play isn’t working and they don’t seem to have a Plan B.

It bothered me last year was how they tried to use Oba as a target player on the field.

Yes, he is the best athlete out there and can chase down a ball you whack into enemy territory.

But dude is like 5’7″.

He’s not winning any aerial battles, so stop fucking launching balls into the teeth of the defense and expecting him to fight their big center-backs and come out on top.

If only the Sounders had a player whose job it was to distribute the ball and put their forwards in position to score…

Enter number 10.

Where is this guy?

I like Frieberg – I like his haircut, his accent, everything about him – but he just sort of saunters around out there.

He’s a good passer but we need someone more dangerous.

The Sounders need a danger man.

Clint Dempsey and Nelson Valdez are legit threats, but they’re old. Wily veterans in the business of beguiling defenders, not blowing by them. The Sounders would do well to complement their savvy know-how with youth and speed.

Jordan Morris could develop into a star, but he’s got about zero experience under his belt and people are hyping him up like some sort of Michael Jordan god-kid. That can’t be good for a young player’s think piece. Just look at what happened to Freddy Adu.

Ozvaldo Alonso is a bulldog sitting in front of the defense. He gets stuck in there and makes it difficult for the other team to operate, giving his center-mid partner-in-crime the freedom to get downfield.

The Sounders need a ying to his yang. Give me a 23-year-old South American kid who can catch fire. Give me a poor man’s James Rodriguez.

James has been making power moves since the World Cup

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With the Sounders breaking their own MLS attendance records annually, you know they’ve got money to spend, especially with the $3M they won’t have to pay Oba anymore.

So please, sign someone good who can help the team rise from the bottom of the barrel.

Who Should The Sounders Sign Next?

A scorer. Need more goals!

An attack-minded midfielder. Someone to set up Dempsey, Valdez, and Morris.

A two-way midfielder. Someone who roams the pitch.

A defender. Can’t lose if you don’t get scored on.