WATCH: 6 Goalies With Crazy Jukes

scorpion kick

Keepers can do more than yell at defenders and point.

We really don’t give ’em enough credit. If you don’t come correct on a challenge, you might get embarrassed.

Here are the greatest keeper jukes, deeks, and dangles of all time:


1. Simon Mignolet Quasi-Cruyff

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is a victim of technology here. If he had made this ill-thought-out challenge 10 years ago when things were filmed on potatoes, we might have let him slide. But it’s 2016 – his moment of shame is recorded in slo-mo and HD for all eternity.


2. Rene Higuita’s Scorpion Kick

Rene Higuitia is the real Scorpion King – The Rock don’t have nothin’ on him. This legendary piece of goalkeeping defies convention and logic. Don’t try to understand it, just soak it in. He’s Rick James, bitch.


For the uninitiated:

Life is like an onion. Let’s peel back another layer. The man, the myth, the legend: the real Rick James.



Turn the volume off on your phone for the rest of these unless you like shitty techno music.


3. Julio Cesar Juke


SEE ALSO: Defender Smashes Goalie Then Gets Wrecked


Julio Cesar’s outside of the foot cut here would make any forward proud. He sold that fake like couch on craigslist. I guarantee he didn’t pay for a single drink that night.


4. Goalie Juggernaut


This goalie is a man possessed. Nobody can stop him. He’s going the distance. Cutting through defenders like Cake.


5. Goalie Nutmeg


SEE ALSO: Drogba Humiliates Teammate With Dirty Meg


If you get megged by the goalie, it’s over. Your only choices are exile or suicide. Sudoku never sounded so good…

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6. Outside Of The Foot Flick


The coach’s reaction says it all. This goalie don’t spook. 30-yard outside of the foot flick, no big deal. Well done.

Honorable mention:

Manuel Neuer Becomes A Midfielder


The Germans are good at EVERYTHING. Big, strong, technical, tactical. That’s why they won the 2014 World Cup without really breaking a sweat. Neuer fancies himself as more than a goalie. But those golden mitts are worth too much for him to ever see the field as a player. Which is too bad ’cause he got crazy handles. Watch below:


We need more renegade goalies who embrace their inner striker like this lot.



Rene Higuita’s scorpion kick was

Some dope shit

The riskiest thing I’ve ever seen


Can we just take a minute to appreciate Rene Higuita for what he really is – a style icon.

He’s sprinklin’ sauce, droppin’ sauce…Overdose of sauce.