UEFA Boss Michel Platini Is Officially A Supervillain

UEFA boss Michel Platini. Source: The Guardian/Michael Probst/AP
UEFA boss Michel Platini. Source: The Guardian/Michael Probst/AP


The black hole of morality and decency known as Sepp Blatter has claimed another victim – UEFA president Michel Platini.



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Platini, French legend and current leader of world football’s second most powerful organization, has completed his fall from grace, stemming from an illegal $2 million dollar payment he accepted from Blatter/FIFA.



Widely regarded as one of the best soccer players of all time, Platini has sullied his reputation beyond repair.



When you think of Platini the player, you think “all-time great.”

When you think of Platini the executive, you think “greedy, rotten bastard.”



FIFA boss Sepp Blatter and UEFA president Michel Platini were each given 8-year bans from world football for their part in turning the world’s most popular sport into a bribery and extortion carnival for the opportunistic and morally ambiguous characters that occupied seemingly every position in both organizations.

Now that it’s become clear to Platini that he has no further recourse to exonerate himself, he’s throwing in the towel. Lie down with dogs and wake up with fleas.


Here’s a timeline of how it all went down

(credit to “JuanG12”, rogue soccer detective)


June 2015: Blatter announces resignation amid FIFA corruption scandal

July 2015: Platini says he’ll run for FIFA president in the 2016 election

September 2015: Swiss police allege Blatter made a $2M illicit payment to Platini

September 2015: FIFA’s Independent Ethics Committee launches formal investigation into Blatter and Platini

October 2015: Platini receives 90 day suspension from any football related activity

December 2015: Blatter and Platini are each banned from soccer for 8 years for ethics violations.

January 2016: Platini bows out of FIFA race two months before election

May 9th, 2016: Platini announces his intention to resign as UEFA president


If one bad apple spoils the whole bunch, soccer fans around the globe have been eating some rotten f*cking apples for a long, long time.


Will the tarring and feathering of Blatter and Platini end corruption in soccer?

Yes – cut off the snake’s head and it dies

No – we’re all f*cked