Mario Gotze Is Clearly Warming Up To The Idea Of Joining Liverpool

Source: Getty Images
Source: Getty Images

SEE ALSO: Jose Enrique Has Rejoined Liverpool Just Days After Release
Mario Gotze being linked to Liverpool purely because Jurgen Klopp is there has always felt a little bit like lazy journalism. Because why would a guy who has scored the winner in a World Cup Final, and plays for the third biggest team in world football, want to join Liverpool?

Anywho, logic has clearly failed and the rumour of Gotze’s impending arrival upon Anfield won’t die down. So much so, it is now being reported that Gotze has been asking about what life is like upon Merseyside.

Well, Mario, lad; here’s exactly what you can expect…

TVs Are Permanently On The History Channel


And you can’t turn them off, Mario; you have to continually be reminded that Liverpool were good once upon a time.


Divock Origi Is A Future Ballon d’Or Winner


Even though you’ll very quickly realise that Origi is bang average, Mario, just keep those thoughts to yourself. He’s quality, okay!

Kolo Toure Is The Chef


Now, Mario, I cannot stress this enough. Do NOT eat anything Kolo cooks for you. However, here’s the tricky part, you can’t openly reject it. Therefore, you’ll need to be creative in your removing of the meals he cooks for you.

You’ll Redefine What Success Is

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Having eight assists in 2016 is greater than winning a World Cup and a Champions League, Mario, okay?!

You’ll Never Walk Alone


Unless you play shit. Then you’re fucked. Until you play well again. Football, ey, Gotze?!