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Today, Roy Hodgson announced the England squad that will earn a ‘heroic’ draw against Slovakia and then go on to disappoint a whole nation.
England fans everywhere were waiting with their pre-written tweets, excited at the thought of being outraged and offended before midday on a Monday.
“I’m delighted I get a chance to act like a knob, so soon after the Premier League season has finished.
“Being offended and tweeting 140 character insults to the official England Twitter account is probably one of my favourite past-times.
“I feel sorry for Hodgson, really, because I know that down the pub last night, myself and my mates had already written out our ‘joke of an England squad?’ tweets and had them saved in drafts ready to go.
“At least I can now get into pointless arguments on social media now, though; I always enjoy that. Helps pass the time.”
Generic England fan
When asked whether their was a chance England fans could react like normal human beings, and discuss their opinions in a calm manner, whilst adding worthwhile arguments to the debate, the Three Lions followers replied:
“Sorry. I don’t quite follow you.”