Roy Hodgson Has Penned An Open Letter To The England Fans

Dear Fans of England,

As I pick up my quill and start writing upon this piece of parchment, it is you that I’m thinking of.

Although you may not think it, I hear every single: “Roy is such a wasteman” and “This team is driving me mad ting” – my grandson assures me they’re positive phrases – you passionately scream at myself and the team after every entertaining dead rubber friendly. And it’s that support that spurs me on to make you happy.

This is why, I’m determined more than ever to make sure the Three Lions make it out of the group stages, so that you’re proud of us. Anything else is a bonus, because the likes of Slovakia are not to be underrated, they’ve got exceptional quality (not that I can name any of their players at this very moment) – whilst I’ve got you, how do I use Google?

I must admit, I’ve never known a captain of any side – club or internationally – to receive such attention as our very own Wayne Rooney. It’s great to see nothing but 100% praise for Wayne and I’m excited at the thought of having him lead our line in France.

This squad is the most talented I’ve ever worked with; Jordan Henderson has the vision of a young Andrea Pirlo, Danny Rose reminds me of the finest professional I’ve ever coached, Paul Konchesky, and, my word, you just have to see how impressive in training Jamie Vardy is – it’s exactly why I’ll be looking to give him at least 12 minutes of tournament action this summer; he’s earned it.

I’ve seen a lot in the media regarding concerns over Jack Wilshere’s fitness, and I totally understand that. However, I’m pleased to say that, yesterday, Jack took the stairs rather than the lift and made it to the second floor with ease. That should certainly ease any concerns you guys have back home.

I truly believe that with your support, and our 49-Premier League goal pairing of Kane and Vardy on the bench, England can come second in our group. We just have to believe and remain upbeat.

Anyway, I must go now, someone called Tom Heaton wants to see me. He sounds like a dear ol’ chap; I think he works for Sky Sports.

Yours Sincerely

Roy Archibald Hodgson III

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