Portugal Have Denied That Ronaldo Is On The Verge Of A Mental Breakdown


Portugal officials at Euro 2016 have strenuously denied claims that Cristiano Ronaldo is on the verge of a mental breakdown.

But a drawing found in the lobby of the team’s French Rugby Foundation HQ near to Paris, is believed to have been penned by the Real Madrid star, and reveals a fragile state of mind.

The artwork was discovered by a CLICKON reporter in the wake of Portugal’s 0-0 stalemate with Austria, in which Ronaldo fired a penalty against the woodwork.

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When we showed the image to a Doctor in the GUM clinic in Porte de la Villette, he told us:

“Clearly this is the work of a very troubled person. Notice the unhappy face and that he has pooped in his pants. The other people are mocking him. I would say that the childlike quality of the drawing reveals a desire to return to youth and innocence. That will be 500 Euro. And your test results will be here next week.”

One of the Portugal press officers accused CLICKON of being mad themselves before having us forcefully ejected from the conference by burly security operative working for UEFA.

“Ronaldo did not draw that picture!” he screamed, his face purple with rage, as we were being thrown out onto the street.

England, however, were more than happy to confirm that a picture found scrawled near their Jeu du Paume hotel in Chantilly was probably done by Wayne Rooney.

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“Yeah, that could be one of Wayne’s,” said a team-mate in his tracksuit after a light training session ahead of the Three Lions clash with Slovakia.

“He’s always doing little doodles to chill-out on a night in his room. Roy Hodgson tells him to apply his creativity off the pitch as well as on it, and Wayne likes doing art. David James (former England goalkeeper) gave him a few pointers. We gave Raheem Sterling a go, but he keeps losing his crayons.”

It’s believed that the ‘Fatty Bot’ picture is a blueprint of Wayne’s for a Robot he plans to build for ‘Robot Wars’ with his sons Kai and Joseph. CLICKON applauds his Father’s Day commitment.

Portugal have to beat Hungary in their final group game to qualify for the knock-out stages and need to have their talismanic record appearance star at his best.

Ronaldo is also hoping to become the first player to score in four consecutive European Championship Finals, in case you’ve fallen asleep during the TV commentary in which we’re constantly reminded.

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