It’s like Jose Mourinho never left, with the Arsene Wenger insults, high profile transfers, Pep Guardiola mind games already in full swing and the banning of fun, laughter and happiness at Old Trafford.
That’s right, the (not so) ‘Special One’ has banned his Manchester United squad from playing Pokemon GO, due to the fact the former Chelsea manager is against anything that doesn’t bring sadness, unrest and infighting.
“Jose loves having a great relationship with his players and staff, and thinks it’s great for them to chill and relax away from training and games.
“He’s still finding his way around Old Trafford and treading carefully.
“The only thing he has picked up on which he’s told the lads of is his concern about Pokémon.
“He says for 48 hours before a match he wants the guys to leave it alone and concentrate on the tactics he and his staff have been working on in the days before.”
You’ve got to laugh at the fact that Mourinho believes his players might not ‘park the bus’ exactly how he wants it, due to them being sidetracked by a wild Electabuzz that has appeared in the penalty box.
Or that Phil Jones will start just randomly making forward strokes on his phone screen halfway through a press conference – to be fair, PJ’s permanently gormless face, does make it appear that the ‘lights are on, but nobody is home’, so he probably would do something like that.
Needless to say, Mourinho won’t be able to stop the Red Devils staying on the Pokemon GO hype. So, if Jose is Gary Oak, then we’d make Marcus Rashford the Ash Ketchum of the group; a plucky, excitable youngster, full of great potential – although I Am Zlatan will probably insist on being the lad from Pallet Town.