British companies are considering making Friday Night Football matches a Bank Holiday

British companies are currently locked in talks over whether to make the remaining nine Friday night Premier League matches a national holiday. This has come about following the disarray caused by Southampton’s visit to Old Trafford to play Manchester United.

“The productivity of my employees today, was nothing short of a disgrace. With many forgetting that the deadline for team selection and transfers was 7pm tonight, there was a lot of panicked tinkering and discussions going on in the office.”

Natwest Manager

The pound took its biggest drop since the Brexit results were announced as the markets came to a complete standstill. Workers clearly had Mane on the mind, rather than money.

September 16th is the next scheduled Friday Night Football spot on Sky Sports, and it’s a big one at Stamford Bridge, with Chelsea ‘welcoming’ Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool side.

Bosses are already preparing action plans for that day, with emergency meetings scheduled for later today as they look at ways to combat their employees focusing on the fantasy world.

“One of the strategies we are considering for every FNF game day, is that we rota on the Tottenham Hotspur fans. And our reasoning for that is simple, the Lilywhites fanbase know nothing about football, so we can’t see them being too interested in fantasy football.”

Retail Manager, Sports Direct

Due to how regular Friday night matches will be happening now, it isn’t just the working environment that has been hindered. Many football fans have complained it has now made having a relationship borderline impossible.

“With Monday Night Football, Champions League Tuesday and Wednesdays, Europa League Thursdays, the normal Saturday pub ritual and then Super Sunday, I honestly don’t have time to see my partner.

“We had a blazing row the other day because I wanted to watch Astra Giurgiu against West Ham, and my girlfriend couldn’t understand why I’d rather watch that than take her out for her birthday.”

Newly single, Mario

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