Victor Valdes has blasted Man United over his time with the club

Ben Mountain

Victor Valdes has been recently quoted as describing former United gaffer Louis van Gaal as “a father figure” and says, “He (LVG) is in the top… There is no problem between us.” Despite his torrid time with United, he insists, “We are still friends.” However, we caught up with the decorated Spanish shot-stopper as he ambled the streets of Middlesbrough wondering where it all went wrong…

After he was put through the wringer at United with dramatic public fall-outs with van Gaal leading to ostracism, we marveled that he should still have such kind words for the Dutchman.

“In all honesty I don’t have kind words. van Gaal, well he’s a bit of a mug. But I can’t tell Sky that, can I? After all, I ended up £3 million better off, so why would I want to jeopardise that? I’ve just bought an 18ft effigy of Louis to burn and I’d rather not have to pawn that bad boy should they withdraw the payment.”

When we asked why Valdes went as far to describe the successful former Barca and Ajax manager as a “father figure”, Valdes had quite a clear answer:

“It’s less ‘father figure’ and more ‘creepy uncle’, but again I had to bite my tongue on that one so I opted for a slightly safer family related idiom.”


With an impressive record and even more impressive trophy cabinet (seven LA Liga titles, three Champions League, a World Cup winner’s medal and a European Championship to his name), just why was Valdes treated so poorly at United?

“Basically I acted like a stroppy child. A bit of a bellend really. But LvG provoked it from me with what were, in my eyes, offensive and unnecessary disciplinary actions. He once made me call him ‘My Lord’ for a week because I forgot to hold a door for him. Another time he made my brush Giggsy’s chest hair with a toothbrush. He never told me what I’d done, even whilst he watched the horrible debacle in action… It’s all a fairly miserable blur I’m trying to forget really.”

All in all, we hope Valdes has a better time with Aitor Karanka at Borough than he did with LVG at Old Trafford. But please, Vic, tell us the truth early next time. We’d love to hear the Riverside gossip firsthand.

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