Today is clearly the day for awful – yet amusing – tattoos in the footballing world. First, we had the hilarious Gary Lineker-based tatt, and now we’ve got a borderline life-size, Mark Noble, one!
— MARK NOBLE (@Noble16Mark) August 22, 2016
Mark Noble took to Twitter to showcase a fan’s tattoo of him, following the 1-0 win over Bournemouth at the London Stadium, and we can’t decide if it’s passionate or just downright creepy. Certainly, we’re leaning towards getting a restraining order out on the bloke.
Noble is adored by the Hammers due to his inability to be good enough for a move to a bigger club, and for smaller teams realising he really isn’t worth making a bid for. Loyalty in football allows you to get away with murder. For example, why on earth are Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs lauded for being one-club men? Oh bloody hell, lads; well bloody done for staying at one of the world’s biggest clubs and continually winning things, that must have been torture for you.
Anyway, back to that monstrosity of a tattoo; if the fella has a missus, the only reason she asks to have sex with the lights off is because she doesn’t want to look at that face on her boyfriend’s side.
Quite remarkable that Noble tweeted this with pride, considering it looks more like the love child of Harry Kane and David Cameron.