Wilshere’s Days Are Done At The Emirates

Ethan Tait

The transfer window is closed, the dust has settled, dildos have stayed away from Sky Sports, and somehow Jack Wilshere has found himself in something other than an Arsenal jersey. With many suitors looking to take the England international on loan including Roma (A UCL CLUB YOU DAMN MUPPET), Wilshere elected to stay in England and joined former Gunners reject, Benik Afobe, at AFC Bournemouth.

The deadline day deal to the Cherries allows for Jackie to get first team minutes outside of a crowded Arsenal midfield and is an attempt to jumpstart the career of the still young Englishman for the 4th time.

As far as footballers go, Wilshere is the Failure to Launch; he’s the shorter and less handsome version of Matthew McConaughey. He still lives with his parents rent-free, hangs out with his other friends with no ambition to do anything, and hasn’t achieved too much of anything in his career.

Arsene Wenger spoke to the media regarding the move of Arsenal’s number 10 to the Cherries,

The boy needs to grow up. He has the talent and skills that many would kill for, but all he wants to do is smoke his damn cigarettes and play FIFA. I grounded him at first, but then I remembered that loaning him out would be a better idea. Now, he’s out of my hair and not my problem.

Arsene Wenger

The oft-wounded Gunner needs to prove his worth to the club or be deemed excess, much like Lord Niklas Bendtner, and become transfer listed and sold.

What a class footballer he was.

I love Jack Wheelchair as a footballer. He’s a little pitbull with a lot of finesse that adds a lot to an Arsenal squad that can be flat at times, but he’s stagnated as a footballer.

Being the most injured footballer in the world next to Danny Welbeck doesn’t bode well for Wilshere, as each subsequent injury comeback was less hyped than the previous and most Gunners fans, myself included, don’t have a fuck to give anymore.

There was so much hope for Jack Wilshere, but like many of the somewhat decent Englishman before him, he was nothing more than an overhyped youngster.

This time around there will be no return to the Emirates for Jack Wilshere; his days as an Arsenal player are done. Wenger has reached his tipping point (far too late) and the return from loan will lead to a surefire sale and more money that won’t be spent in the transfer window.

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