Manchester United One Transfer Away from Winning It All

Ethan Tait

Manchester United has hit the ground running under Mourinho, producing quality results that have led them to the top of the Premier League. Manchester is unfortunately buzzing again with a new and improved squad as the team looks for a renaissance of sorts moving into the post-van Gaal age. 

The additions of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Eric Bailly, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, and Paul Pogba have created a side that can compete with the best in Europe.

Too bad United’s playing on Thursdays…

Does the Europa League even have anthem?

Evidently it does…still shit though.

Regardless of the second-tier European trophy, Man United have the tools to produce a Premier League winning campaign and to outlast Pep Guardiola and Man $hitty across town.

Mourinho has more resources with his new bitch than he did with his ex in London and will continue to bring success to Old Trafford.

But before United can compete with the likes of FC Barcelona, Real Madrid, and the Vardy Party in Leicester, one player needs to face the axe or slide into MLS, and that man is Wayne Rooney.

Time and time again, the Red Devils (and England) have protected their fading and underperforming superstar and rewarded him for his lack of production with a £300,000 a week contract.

Mourinho and United are looking to give Rooney one last hurrah before shipping him off and celebrating his wages no longer being on the books.

My underperformance just earns me an earful from the missus, no monetary reward for me, just a week’s worth of disappointment.

With the coffers full of cash and Mourinho riding the wave of popularity, Manchester United must splurge to replace the England captain and once great footballer.

The only logical option in my mind is the French maestro and Drake’s backup dancer, Antoine Griezmann.

The combination of the Frenchman, Zlatan, Pogba, and Mourinho could bring the Champions League back to Manchester and potentially end the Spanish Inquisition of European titles.

The deal will have to be sweet to persuade Griezmann to ditch Diego Simeone and Madrid for Manchester, but with money flowing like the Nile it shouldn’t be an issue for the English giants.

Ditch Rooney, buy Griezmann, and rule the world. What more could Mourinho want?

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