David Moyes has ‘made’ three outlandish claims

Ben Mountain

Current Sunderland and former Everton, Manchester United and Real Sociedad boss, David Moyes, hit the press with a bold statement, recently . Whilst taking time out to reflect on everything before it all went wrong – outside of his weekly PTSD therapy sessions – Moyesy told the nation that he felt he “might be exaggerating but, with a top centre-forward, we (Everton) would have been close to winning the league; we were that good.” Steady on, lad.

However, the Scotsman continued…

“Sunderland aren’t going to be the biggest spenders. It’s going to be tough and take time – at least three or four transfer windows – but I want, in my own way, to do a Leicester here.”

You heard it here first, ‘2020: Sunderland AFC, Premier League Champions’. Get down the bookies pronto.

Whether Moyes is a talented visionary or simply a compulsive liar is as yet unclear, but one thing we do know is that the man has faith in himself. Here’s his top self-beliefs and ambitions over the years…

1) Overtake Fergie as football’s greatest Scot.

Second only to Sean Connery; though arguably on a par with Annie Lennox, everyone knows former Manchester United gaffer, Sir Alex Ferguson, to be Scotland’s greatest ever. Looking to knock his predecessor off one of his many perches, however, David Moyes has publicly expressed a desire to be voted ‘Scotland’s greatest football influence’. The prestigious annual competition has seen Fergie crowned champion for the last 19 years, but Dave has had enough. Speaking in 2013 after taking over the reigns at Old Trafford, Moyes said “Sir Alex, in my opinion, is getting on everyone’s tits. It’s that smug face with that multi-coloured hooter that does it for me. Someone needs to take him down a peg and let me tell you now, it ain’t gonna be Gordon Strachan…” Looks like for once, Fergie, you’re running out of time.

2) Rebuild Rome… Within a very specific time.

One of Moyes’ most ambitious statements came after a night down the Fox and Hounds after one unfortunate post-match celebration during his successful reign in Everton:

“I am the great, the imperial Mosey: king of the realm. I own you, Everton. You know what? I’m so goddam good I could actually build Rome in a fuckin’ day mate. Useless Romanians couldn’t but I’m king of the realm and you know I’m maybe off for a kebab now…”

Despite reportedly having little recollection of this poorly timed interview, we’re sure David Cesar sounds a good title to him.

3) Win the X-Factor

“I could give ’em a real nice rendition of Auld Lang Syne and wow Simon and Cheryl, if they’re still about” once said a beaming, fresh faced Real Sociedad manager when asked what his fall-back plans should be if he couldn’t conquer Spain.

“My goldfish once died and that really affected me but I cannae sing for shit so I think they’ll like me. Four yeses would honestly mean the world to me. Oh, and they told me to say I’ve wanted this all my life so there you go.”

Looks like Moysey has further career paths lined up at least and judging by Monday night’s loss to his former Merseyside club, the Prem title is a little way off anyway – he’s going to need them. Get working on those vocals fella…

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