When Football Is Secondary To Sex

Ethan Tait

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sex is placed at the bottom of the pyramid, making it a physiological and most basic need for humans. This places football in a secondary position to bumping uglies. 

Sometimes, the desire for sex and some stupidity supersedes the desire for a footballer to go to work or prevents a player from doing his job.

It couldn’t be more true when people say that men think with their other head.

Ex-manager Paul Sturrock has recently published his autobiography about his life and times in football. Knowing that no one was really wanting to read it because he’s Paul Sturrock and no one cares or knows who he is, Sturrock placed in some interesting details regarding former players and Viagra.

I know a footballer using Viagra, that’s quite sad, but putting the little blue pill in the wrong hands can have some significant problems (or laughs) for all involved.

Here are 5 other examples where footballers used thought with their dicks and really made a mess of things:

When managing English nobody, Plymouth Argyle, Sturrock recounts a story of Emile Mpenza, a Manchester City player in the pre-$hitty and oil money days, and how he was in a “hard” situation.

I think the best one from Emile or his advisor, God knows I was losing the will to live let alone listen to his litany of misery, came when I asked the oft-repeated question, ‘Has anyone seen the boy Mpenza?’

I was told in all seriousness, that Emile had take Viagra the previous night and still had an erection and wouldn’t be able to take part in training.

Paul Sturrock

I pray for the homie’s health. An erection lasting more than four hours might be pleasurable for the missus, but is definitely a little testing on the heart.

Emile Mpenza was thinking with his dick and it showed.

Footballers aren’t the brightest.

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