Maybe what everyone needs is a loan spell at Ipswich Town to fully kickstart their footballing careers? Giovanni Dos Santos is now a ‘God’ out in America, one of Major League Soccer’s best players and is living the lifestyle.
But, that could all be about to come crashing down on the Mexican international, if reports from South American television program Las Mananitas Show that a sex tape involving Dos Santos is about to be released.
Apparently, the video is available to the highest bidder – although we can’t find the eBay listing ? – but you’d imagine Dos Santos is currently emptying out his piggy bank, or even asking LA Galaxy for an advance on his wages – sometimes £2.8million-a-year just isn’t enough.
As you can no doubt image, there are a lot of stunning ex-girlfriends, supermodels and fame-hungry women being linked with the video.
Let’s just hope, if it is leaked, that the video didn’t happen on a secret visit from Dos Santos to Liverpool with teammate, Steven Gerrard. Some of those English girls are, well let’s just say, even LA Galaxy’s resident hardman, Jelle Van Damme would struggle taking down some of them.
Although, these five wrestlers – who could be soccer players – might be able to control the English girls!
GK – The Big Show
This one is fairly self explanatory. The Big Show aka Paul Wight is a former WWE, WCW and ECW Champion and he's been wrestling for over 20 years now. Oh, and he's absolutely massive. The 7-foot tall giant is a force to be reckoned with, and if you stick him between those two posts there isn't much that's going to get past him. He's even got a sporting history in basketball, so I'm sure he'd be fine with stopping a 25-yard free kick from curling into the top corner. Also, if you're a referee, how on earth are you planning on telling the big man if he'd conceded a penalty or handled outside of the box? You aren't going to do it, plain and simple. He would quite literally obliterate you. Source: Twitter
CB – John Cena
"You can't see me" may be his trademark in the WWE, but on a football pitch he'd be nothing short of a tank. The 15-time world champion is a winner by nature, and he'd be the ideal captain; a centre-back who gets stuck in and doesn't give strikers a moments peace. If his promos in the wrestling business are anything to go by, he'd also give a pretty damn inspiring half-time team talk if his side were 1-0 down in a cup final. The manager doesn't even need to be there - just let 'Big Match John' do all the work. He'd never get a yellow or red card either. One of his mantras is "Rise Above Hate", so there's going to be nothing but clean challenges from the commanding defender. Source: Twitter
CM – Rhyno
Sweet jesus nobody is going to mess with Rhyno. In the middle of the park he would run down anyone who thinks they can move the ball around, completely halting any momentum they have. Sure, there would be the occasional sending off to contend with, but it'd be worth it for the message he'd send. Think of a bigger, meaner Vinnie Jones. The hardcore legend is a current WWE Tag Team Champion and is also standing for election in his home state of Michigan, showing that he's got the brains aswell as the brawn. Any team that discovers they're playing against Rhyno will soon find their best players feigning injury in order to avoid the god awful fate of a two footed challenge from the big man. He'd be the definition of effective. Source: Goliath
RW – Neville
An Englishman by nature, Neville is already familiar with the beautiful game as he's an avid supporter of Newcastle United - but we won't hold that against him. The 30-year-old's quick feet and strength on the ball would make him a nightmare for defences to deal with, and if he endures a tough tackle or two he can more than handle himself in a scrap.
Whether or not he can actually whip a decent cross into the box is a different matter entirely, so long as he goes down dramatically and wins a free-kick all is well. With so much potential he'd probably end up being one of those players who moves from club-to-club like a mad man, but he sure would be a fun little player to watch - we use the term little very loosely. Source: Inside Pulse
ST – Kalisto
The former United States champion would more than likely fall into the Javier Hernandez mould if he ever transitioned into the world of football. He's small, irritating and he'd generally just get in the way. There's no shame in being a poacher when you're an international striker, and Kalisto would fill that role nicely. You'd think the danger has been cleared and then he'd pop up at the back post with a tap in from two yards out. The back four would often try to hack him down in order to stop him, but they'd fail miserably as he comes and goes at the speed of light. To your own side he would be a hero, but to others he'd be your worst nightmares. Source: Live HD Wallpaper