Argentina have officially confirmed that Lionel Messi is God

Ethan Tait

For many football is considered a religion with services being held on match days. If that’s the case then the great footballers and managers of the game are the saints, martyrs, and important figures of the religion. According to reports from Argentina, Lionel Messi is omniscient God of the game. 

Following the past summer’s loss in the Copa America, Messi decided enough was enough. He was tired of facing the abuse of the Argentina fans and putting the country on his back.


He almost caused a mass exodus from the national team when they realized without Lionel Messi things would be pretty grim, especially with Gonzalo Higuain up top.

Tata Martino was fired following two consecutive Copa America final defeats and was handed the blame for the early retirement of Lionel Messi; he was an easy scapegoat.

For his efforts, Tata Martino has been damned and has gone from coaching the likes of Lionel Messi, Barcelona, and Argentina to Kenwyne Jones at Atlanta United FC.

Enter, Edgardo Bauza.

This man was handed the task of saving Argentina. No pressure.

First things first in the salvaging the national team was making sure the national team was still playing and no longer retired. Bauza flew to Barcelona to meet with Lionel Messi and Javier Mascherano.

As you may know, Messi is no longer retired and back with the national team; kudos to Bauza, he was able to save Argentina. But the way in which the new Albiceleste manager went about his business raises a few eyebrows.

What surprised me is how much he knows about football, because he knows everything, about his teammates, the technical team, about football. He’s aware of everything. I always thought a player of his standing would have to be a player who knew a lot about football. But he surprised me even more than I thought. Leo knows everything about everything. Nothing escapes him.

Edgardo Bauza, Head of the Church of Lionel Messi

By putting Lionel Messi on the pedestal and in God-like form, Bauza was able to convince Lionel Messi to return to the national side, seems fair.

When dealing with a player like Lionel Messi who has won the Ballon d’Or on five occasions it might be a little difficult to please the man. Hats off to Bauza for the innovative approach.

When praying to the football gods, he recognized that there is only one and that man is Lionel Messi.

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