Much like Tupac and Elvis Presley, I don’t think Pablo Escobar is dead. I know Narcos and the US government say so, but I just can’t get myself to believe it, especially when football and drugs collide.
Ex-Colombian international Diego Osorio was arrested for attempting to smuggle nearly $50,000 worth of cocaine in his underwear. Trying to pull a fast one by resorting to old smuggling tactics.
C’mon Osorio, you can do better than that.
The former Atletico Nacional player had nearly a kilogram of that the high quality, Colombian snow on him. I’m no drug expert, but that seems like a lot of cocaine to be storing on your person and it has to be very bulky at that.
His excuse? He claims to be paying off a debt to someone, I’m calling bullshit. He’s just not trying to give up his supplier, Pablo Escobar.
9 Footballers Who Could Star In Narcos Alongside Pablo Escobar
Antonio Valencia, as a loyal military man
Valencia, the ‘does-a-job’ sort of bloke. Loyal to his core, you would trust him with your other-half… actually, maybe not, as he is a bloody good-looking chap.
Anyway, Antonio also used to be in the Ecuadorian army, as part of the country’s military service, requirement, so has plenty of experience in rank, order and discipline. Would be welcome into anyone’s battalion.
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Vinnie Jones, as Horacio Carrillo
Charismatic. Maverick. And fuckin’ nuts. The ‘Crazy Gang’ member would make a cracking, Horacio Carrillo, in leading the Colombian army.
The ex-Wimbledon man is a ‘goes against the grain figure’, who would lead by example, leaving nothing out on the field… an obvious choice in our eyes.
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Jamie Vardy, as the lost traveller
Every episode needs that one travelling ‘gringo’, who is purely there for some of Colombia’s finest…’cocoa’ powder. Who better to play that, than England’s one-and-only, Jamie Vardy… ‘bring your vodka and your Charlie’.
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Luis Suarez, as Roberto “Poison” Ramos
This was the easiest decision. The Barcelona man would play the horrible bastard that is Poison, better than any other footballer.
The characters ruthless savageness is reflected in all forms of Suarez’s play.
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Sepp Blatter, as Fernando Duque
Bent, corrupt, crooked… any more words needed for that swine, Sepp Blatter and corrupt lawyer who serves Escobar, Fernando Duque.
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Paolo Di Canio, as Javier Peña
Di Canio, the most spot on ‘bad-cop’, no? A bit of a nasty brute if you ask me, but that’s exactly what Javier Pena has to be in the Netflix show. Can be terrifying, but can also show forms of compassion which help in the job.
This place is therefore reserved for the ex-Hammer striker, as you wouldn’t want to piss Di Canio off.
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Paul Gasgcoigne, as Steve Murphy
Difficult choice. But ‘Gazza’ has to play Murphy. Why? Because as Murphy showed in Season 1, (spoiler alert), he’s got that clinical edge to him, evident when the copper sent the police to take out ‘Poison’ in the bar. Gazza showed this time-and-time again, making the football renegade perfect to play the tourist lost in South America.
Plus, although Paul looks like a budget DEA Murphy, I can’t help but see some facial similarities between the two.
Adriano, as Gustavo
Adriano, allegedly out on the streets of Brazil earning a living. It seems the ex-Inter Milan striker makes a better gang member than he did footballer.
The Brazil man would be a brilliant assistant to Escobar, experienced in the trade, will keep a cool head when needed, and not shy of getting amongst it when needed.
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Diego Maradona, as Pablo Escobar
Of course, Harry Connick Jr.’s song ‘It had to be you’, comes to mind for this sort of decision.
Maradona would definitely be the ring-leader, the don, the pack leader of the antagonists. The Argentine maverick would make the perfect Pablo Escobar.
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Here’s my idea on the whole situation:
Diego Osorio played for Atletico Nacional and Independiente Medillin, two Colombian team based in Medillin where Escobar housed his cartel. Although Escobar’s preferred team was Independiente Medillin, he gave a lot money to both sides because he was a man of the people.
I say when Osorio was playing for Independiente, he was intrigued by the drug trade and was thinking about his future after football so he and Escobar became good friends.
In 1993, Pablo Escobar’s body double was killed and the real Pablo Escobar laid low for many years while the Cali Cartel came to forefront of drug exploits in the Western Hemisphere.
While the war on drugs raged on, Escobar laid low waiting for his opportunity to announce his return to the world.
Diego Osorio and Escobar lost touch and as Osorio was brought up on possession of coke in 2002 and the pair reconnected and waited for their chance.
Now, ready to flex his cartel powers again Escobar sent Osorio on a suicide mission with a kilo of coke in his undies to purposely get caught. This plan was all a set up to announce to the world and Escobar is still a football fan and ready to take back his throne as the King of Coke.