How an inept Alan Pardew will get the last laugh

Alan Pardew, or ‘Pardiola’ if you’re an absolute bellend, has guided Crystal Palace to a solid start this season. Despite his side’s horrendous form towards the end of last year and speculation over his future, he seems to have found a way through all the negativity – and I’m positive that he will be the one laughing in May.

Alot has been said and written about regarding Pardew’s lapses in tactical knowledge. He seems to possess the Tim Sherwood aura of blind confidence in the face of adversity, and his levels of twatishness really are extraordinary at times.

The thing is, Pardew has surrounded himself with so much talent around him that his own personal flaws have been hidden. His sheer bravado and cockiness has cast a cloak of invisibility over his poor skills as a manager, and that in itself is baffling.

He has been afforded a great amount of money by the owners at Selhurst Park in order to splash out on numerous players that will help to guide the club to success. The likes of Yohan Cabaye, Christian Benteke and Andros Townsend have all come in for big fees and because of their ability to win games and make an impact Pardew’s tactics simply do not matter.

The work at that club is being done for him. Because of his past as a player at Palace he is awarded a certain leniency, however all you have to do is look at his reputation at previous club Newcastle United. Despite guiding them to a solid finish, he ended up destroying that team, and fans were begging for him to go.

The Eagles offering him the position as a manager was like a protective bubble that allowed Pardew to escape all of the questions surrounding his skills, because he could do whatever he wanted.

His big talk and leadership is like a shot of adrenaline that supporters continue to soak up, and yet they don’t even take much notice when the effects wear off. Pardew should be oh so thankful that there is a parade of shit down the bottom of that Premier League, because no matter what happens they are going to hoist Palace up into a position they don’t deserve to be in.

When May comes around and Crystal Palace are far and away above the relegation zone, Alan Pardew will be lauded as a hero. An icon. A visionary. I mean, he literally isn’t any of those things, but that is the persona he has created for himself. It’s like looking at a scummy superhero.

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