America is a country built on loose morals and the unfortunate desire to not only try, but record the latest dance fads for the rest of the world to make fun of us on the internet.
Dabbing, made popular in world football by the most expensive transfer in the form of Paul ‘I prefer not to perform in big games’ Pogba, has hopefully reached the end of its 15 minutes of fame. Whoever thought of the Dab University at Manchester United needs to be shot.
Unlike dabbing, twerking hasn’t found a place in football and it usually involves dollar bills, the opposite sex, and a lot of ass shaking. But unlike dabbing, twerking is timeless.
Best Goal Celebrations in Modern Football:
The most-hated man in the world of football has to have the most fucking obnoxious celebration. Let me run to the corner, jump in the air, let my teammates run to me, and show the world how great I am. What a bastard. Source: Twitter
One of my favorite celebrations. Griezmann adopted this celebration from Drake's Hotline Bling. Fucking baller and not a bastard. Source: Twitter
Although he slipped, he still has one of the most iconic celebrations of all-time. Countless mornings were spent watching young Stevie G produce brilliant displays and pull out his famous celebration. Haven't seen much of it in LA, but it's the MLS so he probably isn't too jazzed about scoring either. Source: Twitter
The king of assists doesn't score often, but he always pulls out his trademark M. Despite being very similar to the shocker, it does make an M- get your minds out of the gutter. Source: Twitter
How he thought of this celebration, no one knows, but Daniel Sturridge has one of the dopest celebrations in the game. His dance hasn't been seen too often as of late due to injury problems, but it is saucy as fuck. Source: Twitter
Old man Eto'o produced this gem after being called old by his own fans. What a man. Source: Twitter
Following the celebration, the New England Revolution striker was booked for “excessive twerking”. If that is case, why the fuck hasn’t Jesse Lingard or Paul Pobga been sent off for excessive dabbing?
Although the twerking was subpar, it was a valiant effort by Kei Kamara who helped lead the New England Revolution to a 3-0 win. Unfortunately, the twerking couldn’t help the MLS side as they failed to make the playoffs (like it actually matters).