Portland Timbers players arrested after failing to qualify for playoffs

Ethan Tait

The Portland Timbers were one win and some help away from being back in the MLS Cup playoffs following their MLS Cup winning campaign last season, but they royally fucked it up and lost 4-1 to the Vancouver Whitecaps. 

Previously in the week, the Portland Timbers were eliminated from the CONCACAF Champions League after a draw at home against the Costa Rican side, Saprissa. The Timbers went from playing for everything to having nothing much like Paul Pogba in his move to Manchester United.

This is embarrassing for the league and the Portland Timbers as the defending champions of the league. After last season, the only truly notable departures from the club were Will Johnson to Toronto FC and Maximiliano Urruti to FC Dallas and the club still couldn’t muster a top-six finish in a relatively weak Western Conference.

If being embarrassed on the field wasn’t bad enough for the club, the off-field antics of their players yesterday surely will do the job.

In an interesting series of events, two Timbers players, Jake Gleeson and Liam Ridgewell, were involved in involved in events that would rival Mario Balotelli for stupidity.

Gleeson was the cause of a two-car accident due to reckless driving, but the kicker is when Ridgewell joins the party. Gleeson contacted Ridgewell to pick him up following the accident and was found to be under the influence of alcohol.

The English defender was the only one charged with a DUI at the scene of the accident.

This dumbass drove drunk to a location where police were present. How stupid can you be?

Granted footballers aren’t the most bright when it comes to common sense and life outside of the pitch, but driving drunk to pick up Gleeson was like showing up to a gun fight with a butter knife; you’re bound to get fucked over.

The Timbers have nothing left to play for this season and their players are already drinking away their sorrows and doing really stupid shit. This should be one hell of an offseason for the Timbers.

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