Honeymoons usually last for a couple of weeks and serve as a chance for newlyweds to relax after the chaos of a wedding and look forward to a future life spent together. For Jose Mourinho, in charge of Manchester United for five months, the honeymoon period is well and truly over – if it ever really began!
Big signings such as Paul Pogba and Zlatan Ibrahimovic haven’t yet justified either their transfer fee or hype in joining the Red Devils. His team are currently trailing City in the league and he’s already in trouble for comments levied towards referee Anthony Taylor before he took charge of the United game against Liverpool.
So if it wasn’t bad enough on the field, Jose is also struggling off it. He’s currently holed up in the Five Star Lowry hotel in the city centre where paparazzi are making his life a misery.
“For me it’s a bit of a disaster because I want sometimes to walk a little bit but I can’t. I just want to cross the bridge and go to a restaurant. I can’t, so it’s really bad.”
Not only that but his family remain in London and the former Chelsea boss is missing them dearly. The Special One is fast becoming The Sad And Lonely One Who Previously Courted Attention But Now Appears To Be Shy.
A happy manager could well lead to a better performances from United, so what can the club do to improve his mood?
Get Him A Role In Coronation Street
All the greats have appeared on the cobbled road of Weatherfield, from the likes of Ian McKellan to Status Quo. Jose could appear as an extra in the Rovers Return or given his dramatic nature might even take a bigger role such as Gail Platt’s latest flame.
Take Him To A Hacienda Classical Night
Manchester’s esteemed history isn’t just about the Busby Babes or the Class of 92, it also has an amazing musical heritage. None more so demonstrated with this, an array of club classics from an orchestra.
Get A Season Ticket For The Etihad Stadium
There’s one way to guarantee Jose will get to watch free flowing football in a breathtaking manner and that’s by sorting him out for a ticket for Manchester City. And if he’s struggling to get in, I’m sure his old pal Pep will be able to assist.
Move Into Ryan Giggs Old Place
Jose misses his family and wants them to be closer to his new club. Why not move them all into Gigg’s old place? It’s not as if the wing wizard is waiting about on a return to Old Trafford, is it?
Give Him Some Chewing Gum
There’s something about the taste of gum that takes the person chewing it back to happy times. It could be to when you were a kid or maybe a highly sought after coach in charge of an all conquering football team.
And with the amount that Sir Alex Ferguson used to chew, surely there’s some stuck to the home dug that Jose could use?