Usain Bolt is cheating on Manchester United

Ryan Benson

You would be forgiven for thinking that Usain Bolt’s career as a sprinter has just been a publicity stunt in order to get a chance at the world’s biggest football clubs. Look back over the last eight years, the Jamaican has probably spent more time talking about football than his own track domination in athletics.

Whether the 30-year-old is revealing his undying love for Manchester United or claiming a ‘meaningful’ emotional connection with Real Madrid, Bolt has never been too far away from worming his way on to the scene at a European football club.

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And do you know what? That persistence, that amusing determination to potentially make himself look like a gangly praying mantis kicking a ball around looks about to come off.

Bolt has revealed that the sprinter has been in talks regarding a training stint with Borussia Dortmund. That wasn’t necessarily taken completely seriously by everyone… Until the club’s CEO, Hans-Joachim Watzke, confirmed Bolt’s on course to be the next, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.

“It is not a joke that Bolt will train with us at some point. This decision was made a while ago. Puma chief Bjorn Gulden, who is also part of our board of directors, told me some time ago that Usain had asked him if he could train with us sometime.

I immediately said that was not a problem and the coach [Thomas Tuchel] is okay with it as well. It will obviously not happen when we have two games in one week, but probably when things are a bit more quiet.

The team will like it as well.”

Hans-Joachim Watzke

But don’t get too excited about the prospect of seeing him pulling on an XL jersey in the Bundesliga, or sharing his chicken nuggets around with the Dortmund lads – there’s a catch.

“We do not have to talk about us offering him a contract. But we feel flattered that he wants to train with us. It is an honour.”


So there you have it. Bolt is finally going to get himself on a pitch with some of the world’s best footballers and we are hopeful that the TV cameras will catch every moment.


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You have to wonder about his football ability, though. At school there were always two types of fast player; the ones who zipped up and down the wing and actually possessed some technical ability, while there were those who only had pace, and were more and combination of Roadrunner and Bambi on ice.

So, which category is Bolt going to fit into? One thing’s for sure… He isn’t very good in the air.

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