Bringing people together… giving hope to youngsters everywhere… eroding national boundaries.
Football does many things for the world, but perhaps most important of all, it provides massive transnational corporations with the rare opportunity to raise brand awareness and line their pockets with your hard-earned cash.
To do this, they need adverts. Great adverts. Ones that feature David Beckham, preferably. And a historical or apocalyptic setting is good, too.
And remember: acting is famously easy, so there’s no need to worry about the players delivering their lines in a way so laughably wooden that it makes Keanu Reeves’ performances seem almost passable.
Yes, football adverts may not always be Oscar-worthy, but we’ve all got our favourites – and here are ours.
Nike’s “The Switch”
Nike have blatantly ripped off the plot of Freaky Friday here, but this is a pretty cool advert and Ronaldo’s one line is confidently delivered (although to be fair, two of the three words are his own name).
It’s long been suggested that Becks might try his hand at acting now the curtain has come down on his playing career, and if this 2004 commercial is anything to go by, he’ll be fine as long as it’s a non-speaking role.
Is anyone else thirsty?
Nike’s “Match in Hell”
Things were a lot darker in the 90s, weren’t they? This Nike commercial literally depicts an Eric Cantona-led team having a kick-about in the firey depths of Hell (no, not Elland Road).
Nike’s Brazil airport ad
The early noughties Brazil side featured some of the best showmen the game has ever seen, and in all honesty, they probably could have won the World Cup playing in an airport terminal.
We’ve saved the best for last. Wayne Rooney’s football career may have hit the rocks, but there’s definitely a future for him on the stage. You all know the line.
8 Premier League footballers that will move to the MLS
Januzaj seems to be morphing into Macheda Part 2: revenge of the one hit wonder. Now I know he's head and shoulders above good old Federico, but either way it seems like his career will turn out the same way; too weak and not enough overall talent. Source: IBTimes
Struggling to believe that the striker is the same one that had a superb 'purple patch' whilst at Manchester City. Poor spell in La Liga with Valencia, coupled with an underwhelming start to life with Middlesbrough, means it's time to pack those bags for the US. Source: Marcadorit
JT's teammate has officially undone his legacy at Chelsea, with almost two seasons of incompetent defending. It's time for the Serbian international to leave English shores, and join former colleague Ashley Cole in LA Galaxy's back-line. Source: Cloud Front
The Leicester City forward was the unsung hero in the Foxes' historic Premier League title win, last season. Additions of Ahmed Musa and Islam Slimani have seen the Japanese international sidelined. The 30-year-old deserves his time in the spotlight, to be the main man; he can do that over in America. Source: Weltsport
Turned down summer moves to West Bromwich Albion and Stoke City, despite knowing his Liverpool career is over. The Frenchman's stock has fallen dramatically since his Paris Saint-Germain days, so it's time for a fresh start. Source: This Is Anfield
So far removed from Pep Guardiola's plans, the Ivorian may as well be running out for Orlando City with Kaka and Andrea Pirlo, now.
We all know the outcast Manchester United midfielder is heading to the MLS. It's now just a case of 'when'. Source: Manchester La La La
Poor old Wazza Roo. Can't get back in the United side, can't hit a barn door, and totally lost his first touch. State side bound. Source: Ibitimes