UEFA’s Team of the Year contenders have been announced

Ahh, excellent; it’s the time of year where we reward egos with pointless individual honours and collective awards, with the contenders decided based upon name, the club they play for and the amount of arse licking that they’re willing to accept.


Rui Patricio (Sporting), Keylor Navas (Real Madrid), Jan Oblak (Atletico Madrid), Gigi Buffon (Juventus)

No one in the world knows if Rui Patricio has been any good for Sporting this year – or if he was in fact ever any good. However, we all saw the ‘keeper win Euro 2016, so of course he deserves an inclusion?.

Gigi Buffon will always be included in such lists, for as long as he plays, because like Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes, longevity seems to outweigh forming a proper opinion on a player’s ability and/or form.


Gerard Pique (Barcelona), Joshua Kimmich (Bayern Munich), Toby Alderweireld (Tottenham), Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid), Raphael Guerreiro (Borussia Dortmund), Leonardo Bonucci (Juventus), Laurent Koscielny (Arsenal), Diego Godin (Atletico Madrid), Pepe (Real Madrid), Juanfran (Atletico Madrid), Dani Carvajal (Real Madrid, Jerome Boateng (Bayern Munich)

Yep, you’re right. There’s literally not one defender, outside the top three of La Liga, Premier League and Bundesliga, that had a good year.


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Dimitri Payet (West Ham), Yannick Carrasco (Atletico Madrid), Paul Pogba (Man United), Riyad Mahrez (Leicester), Kevin De Bruyne (Man City), Joe Allen (Stoke), Luka Modric (Real Madrid), Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal), Toni Kroos, (Real Madrid), Andres Iniesta (Barcelona), N’Golo Kante (Chelsea), Grzegorz Krychowiak (PSG)

Well, that’s official then; these lists are basically done on the basis of who performed well for a period of, at most, seven games, in France during Euro 2016. Aaron Ramsey?! Last seen at Arsenal during the 2013/14 season.

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Lionel Messi (Barcelona), Luis Suarez (Barcelona), Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid), Robert Lewandowski (Bayern Munich), Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Man United), Gonzalo Higuain (Juventus) Antoine Griezmann (Atletico Madrid), Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (Borussia Dortmund), Neymar (Barcelona), Gareth Bale (Real Madrid), Alexis Sanchez (Arsenal), Sergio Aguero (Man City)

No Harry Kane? No Jamie Vardy? Suppose if they were called Kanedinho and Jamieo Vardyo Sanches, they’d have made the list, though?.

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