Once in a blue moon, we see something truly baffling in this oh so lovely game we call football. It could be a spectacular goal or random occurrence, but either way it’ll be entertaining.
In this instance, the shock factor comes from an old archived game between Arsenal and Dynamo Moscow. Honestly, it’s fucking mad.
Way, way back in 1945 when the equivalent of an iPhone was a telegram, Arsenal and Dynamo Moscow engaged in a light-hearted friendly between two of the top sides on the continent. Except that’s a lie because it wasn’t particularly nice at all, and it had a closer resemblance to a no holds barred Royal Rumble match as opposed to football. Lovely stuff.
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The game suffered from heavy fog that wouldn’t look out of place in a shisha bar, with many players urging the referee to suspend play. However, it seems as if the man in charge had pounded ten lines of coke before the game as he instead decided to resume play regardless of the horrendous conditions.
What then transpired can only be described as an absolute clusterfuck of truly hilarious proportions. The rule book may aswell have been burned, thrown out the window and pissed on because that was the mentality of the players left on the pitch.
At one stage, Moscow decided upon making a substitution, however, they didn’t actually take anybody off the pitch. In true Chris Kamara fashion, the stadium was left baffled, with some supporters claiming they had as many as 15 players on the pitch at the same time.
The English side simply laughed it off and in response, began to lay into their opposition with about as much force as Vinnie Jones on steroids. One lucky chap in particular who was sent off early in the game actually snuck back on and managed to play the remainder of the contest. Fantastic resilience, that.
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Unfortunately, karma took a turn for the worst as their keeper knocked himself out by running into the goalpost, because of course he did. Goodness me. Obviously, the correct action was taken and a spectator proceeded to take the shot stopper’s place in goal and the match resumed as normal.
If all this wasn’t utterly ridiculous enough, the game was played at none other than White Hart Lane. Yup. Not even lying.
So the morale of this little tale is simple – football was a lot more renegade back in the old days.
Now check out the Chinese Super League best XI would do alright the Premier League
GK – Zeng Cheng – Guangzhou Evergrande
101 appearances and counting for Guangzhou Evergrande. Won't be long before Gigi Buffon or Iker Casillas make the move to China and unfairly replace Cheng, you'd imagine.
DF – Rong Hao – Guangzhou Evergrande
Having spent his whole career in his homeland, the left-back is something of a national treasure.
DF – Hong Jeong-ho – Jiangsu Suning
Cleared of any wrongdoing in 2011 over match-fixing in the K League, despite the fact four million was deposited into his account from gangs. Lol. Left the Bundesliga, this summer, for a taste of Chinese Super League action.
DF – Stephane Mbia – Hebei China Fortune
The one-time mercenary at Queens Park Rangers, is now doing the same at Hebei China Fortune.
CM – Ramires – Jiangsu Suning
Has settled into Chinese life well, having been handed a four-match ban for being sent-off AFTER the full-time whistle. Good going, lad.
CM – Fredy Guarin – Shanghai Greenland Shenhua
Clearly the thought of playing with Demba Ba was too much to resist for the talented midfielder.
RW – Hulk – Shanghai SIPG
The prime example of a footballer who puts money before football. That being said, never been too sure if he's even that good - apart from a rocket of a strike on FIFA.
LW – Ezequiel Lavezzi – Hebei China Fortune
You know what? Lavezzi can get fucked. Honestly, out of all the footballers that have sold their soul to move to China, his move was the most 'WTF?!'.
CAM – Alex Teixeira – Jiangsu Suning
Wheyyyyyy remember when the Brazilian joined Liverpool?! That was amusing seeing the Reds losing their shit over the thought of signing the talented attacking-midfielder. Instead, he sacked them off and left Shakhtar Donetsk for the Chinese Super League.
ST – Obafemi Martins – Shanghai Greenland Shenhua
Only 31, and yet it feels like the former Newcastle United forward has been around longer than Ryan Giggs was overhyped. Sadly never reached the levels he promised to when a rising star at Inter Milan.
ST – Graziano Pelle – Shandong Luneng
The then-Southampton man's move to the Chinese Super League raised a few eyebrows. Impressing for the Saints and earning international recognition, it seemed a strange move to jeopardise all that. But then you realise that the striker is now the sixth-best paid footballer in the world!