Some men just don’t look like they should be playing professional football, and that’s okay. You sit there watching them on the TV wondering “how the fuck? why, what?” and that’s okay, too.
Unfortunately, some of them literally look like they should be selling The Big Issue in your local town centre.
That’s not to say that some of these lot aren’t cracking footballers – because they are – but, you know, they could do with a tidy up. Then again, doesn’t really matter if you’re banging in screamers week in and week out.
Funny that the World Cup advert he was in a few years ago is probably going to end up being painfully accurate. Source: Twitter
Considering old Crouchy talks with about as much conviction as a recently widowed sloth, it's no surprise that he's on this list. The forward has had a pretty successful career in football, and a transition over to the wonders of person-to-person interaction would suit him down to a tee. Source: Twitter
Whilst he would probably moonlight as an assassin or a bouncer, Joe Ledley would look right at home selling The Big Issue to potentially frightened customers. Some say they've never actually seen the Welshman smile. Source: Twitter
Looks like a bit of a hobo really, doesn't he?! Source: Twitter
Just look at him. Source: Twitter
There's a whole host of jokes and things that could be said about Diego Costa's appearance, so we'll just say this - yes, we agree, he looks about 45. Oddly enough the Spaniard/Brazilian/whatever else's attitude may need a slight adjustment before the guy is thrust upon the awaiting public. Source: Twitter
Scorer in the top five divisions in England, took his wife's last name after marriage and looks like his most suited career path would be a builder. Source: Twitter
Jay Spearing just never looks happy. It's a shame, because he's actually a fairly solid midfielder for Bolton these days. Maybe the bloke hasn't found his true passion in life. Maybe, just maybe, the streets of the north are yearning for his presence. Source: Twitter
Imagine these lot on the same team together. The opposition would quite literally think they’re playing a Sunday League side full of alcoholics, before eventually realising they’re bloody amazing. Even Taylor-Fletcher had his day in the sunshine. Great stuff.