Bastian Schweinsteiger has just been offered a fresh deal

Ethan Tait

Now that Henrikh Mkhitaryan has been freed by Jose Mourinho, it’s Bastian Schweinsteiger’s turn to free Jose Mourinho and Manchester United from his ponzi scheme. No, just becuase the German was included on the bench against West Ham does not mean he’s suddenly at the forefront of Vladimir Putinho‘s plans.

Unfortunately for Schweini, no appearances will be had in a Manchester United shirt with a transfer away from Old Trafford on the cards. Still, Schweinsteiger’s stay at United has been quite nice for the German as he hasn’t had any responsibility on the pitch, when he was on it. He essentially used Manchester United’s facilities as a country club where he was paid. That is the fucking life, who’s kidding who.

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United is finally set to be “unshackled” by Schweinsteiger with a move to the MLS and the Chicago Fire, as the league has successfully recruited another player at the end of his playing career.

The struggling Chicago Fire have supposedly offered Schweinsteiger a three-year deal worth $16.5 million. Who knew that the Fire even had that much money or any ambition to win games?

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Even with the former German international in the side the Chicago Fire probably won’t make the playoffs. So, essentially Schweinsteiger will be coming to America for a big pay check and to be closer to his wife and tennis player, Ana Ivanovic, who might be the next victim of Donald Trump’s pussy-grabbing political initiative.

Schweinsteiger should be willing to take the next flight out of Manchester after being iced out of the squad by Jose Mourinho even if that plane is headed for Chicago. But please make the move from Manchester, Schweini. The optimism you still have for actually getting on the field in a United jersey again is killing is all and making us cringe.


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The German midfielder should have retired a long time ago when he was fit, playing matches, and had won the World Cup. He just didn’t want to hang up the boots and now has successfully tarnished his legacy, but then again earning $5.5 million a year isn’t bad either.

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