The generation that grew up watching Bobby Moore lift the World Cup, played alongside Terry Butcher with a bloodied bandage upon on his head and now watch Dele Alli diving for a living, can be found beating their chests, screaming: “God save the Queen” and then moaning about players not understanding the pride of playing for England, anymore – presumably they slam down their flagon of ale, and order a ‘wench’ in the process.
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With every passing international break, that forces us to attend family events due to no domestic action, the resentment and boredom for international football grows tenfold. Watching the games, through an obsessive need for some 90 minutes action, is the equivalent of pretending to be shocked and overwhelmed by your nan getting you a Lynx Africa set for the 19th year in a row.
Perhaps, if the Three Lions had a few more exciting players over the last decade or so, such as Gareth Bale and Ryan Giggs – the Welsh pair were able to play for England but the lure of playing with the likes of Ugo Ehiogu, Darius Vassell and Scott Carson wasn’t enough to tempt the then-Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur players to ditch the Welsh dragon – then the interest in Sven’s, Fabio’s and Roy’s bumbling idiots would’ve been greater.
8 dual nationality players who snubbed England
England fans probably weren't regretting this one until Conte converted him from a stuttering winger to a marauding wing-back. Moses, however, has long since snubbed the Three Lions in favour of Nigeria. Image Source: Twitter
Australia's answer to David Beckham could have lined up alongside the man himself, but opted for Australia instead, who have as many recent tournament wins as England. Image Source: Twitter
It's going to be painful for England fans to watch the Nigerian forward - nephew of Jay-Jay Okocha - develop at Arsenal, but at least they have Oxlade-Chamberlain to fall back on. Image Source: Twitter
Zaha made his England debut in 2012, but they made the mistake of not tying him down with a competitive cap, and he's finally decided to make a go of it with the Ivory Coast. Image Source: Twitter
In the England squad, Holtby would be a classy midfielder of 60 or 70 caps. For Germany, he's just the guy who isn't as good as Kroos, Gundogan, Khedira or Bender. Image Source: Twitter
Half-English Aaron Hunt has had a solid career in the Bundesliga, but hasn't played for Germany since 2013, and probably would have found it easier competing with Andros Townsend than with Thomas Muller. Image Source: Twitter
Kevin De Bruyne
Not only would KDB be England's best player, but he'd probably be the man to finally end Rooney's painful international career. Alas, he saw the light and picked Belgium instead. Image Source: Twitter
Bundesliga star Burke is already a regular in the Scotland squad, but the winger could have played for England - and after the recent hammering at Wembley might be regretting his decision. Image Source: Twitter
It appears that Gareth Southgate is keen to not make the mistakes of former Three Lions managers – failed that already, though, as he’s still as dull as the rest of them; he is blatantly the sort of bloke who asks for something sensible in Secret Santa, telling others to not waste their money on penis-shaped pasta – and ol’ Gazza S is looking to pinch Liverpool’s, Ben Woodburn, from the Welsh.
Woodburn, who is tipped by many on Anfield to win the Ballon d’Or, The Great British Bake Off and solve world peace, has represented Wales at every age group from 14-19s. Therefore, the Reds midfielder’s ties with the Welsh will be hard to break. However, it’s amazing what one phone call from the charismatic Southgate could do…
8 players you had no idea have a World Cup winners’ medal
Mattihas Ginter – Germany 2014
The defender, who has the face of a serial killer, was awarded a winners' medal despite not playing a single minute in Brazil. Image Source: Twitter
Joan Capdevila – Spain 2010
Whilst Joan was no mug on the pitch, it's fair to say that in comparison to the rest of Spain's World Cup-winning squad, he didn't really possess the same level of talent. Nonetheless, the defender's name will forever be linked back to that historic team. Image Source: Twitter
Marco Amelia – Italy 2006
Apparently this fella played for Chelsea. Can only imagine his contributions to the Italian winners was along the lines of making sandwiches, cleaning boots and carrying the ball bags. Image Source: Twitter
Simone Barone – Italy 2006
Simone Barone somehow, some way snuck himself into the Italy team at the World Cup despite being an utterly average for his whole career. Image Source: Twitter
Rogerio Ceni – Brazil 2002
Yup, the keeper who scores all the free kicks and penalties. Quality. Image Source: Twitter
Luizao – Brazil 2002
Played for about 600 clubs; terrible for them all. Image Source: Twitter
Roque Junior – Brazil 2002
A black David Luiz. Image Source: Twitter
Stephane Guivarc’h – France 1998
It's almost hard not to be impressed by Guivarc'h's journey from the World Cup Final all the way to being named the worst striker in Premier League history. Future stars such as Thierry Henry were on the bench for the game in Paris, and some how this fella led the way for well over an hour. Funny old game, football. Image Source: Twitter