Part of me thinks that if Jurgen Klopp ran over a puppy, the footballing world would respond with crying laughter emoji faces and compliments of how the German is a breath of fresh air.
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The Liverpool gaffer’s contrived act has pulled the wool over a lot of peoples’ eyes, with his calculated actions: from paying tribute to the Reds fans after a tragic draw at Anfield against West Bromwich Albion to making sure he shook all the Bournemouth players hands – in front of the Sky Sports cameras – following the Cherries humiliating his team.
But, finally, we may have seen a public display of the real Jurgen Klopp, one that highlights that the former Borussia Dortmund manager is a bit of a bottle job.
Klopp always talks a big – scripted – game, and the boring yawnfest involving the Neville brothers, Jamie Carragher, Didi Hamann, Loris Karius, Simon Mignolet and basically anyone else north of London with a desire to be painfully petty, was no different.
Liverpool’s greatest ever teenage goalscorers
Michael Owen – The King of Cool himself, Michael ‘White Noise’ Owen was the previous record holder before Woodburn’s goal against Leeds. Owen’s first came on his debut against Wimbledon in 1997 and he went on to such career highlights as his World Cup wonder goal against Argentina, playing for Real Madrid in the Galácticos era and bullying that teenage goalkeeper on Michael Owen’s Soccer Skills, eliciting the timeless "Well done, he's 13" from Neville Southall in the process. Image Source: Twitter
The most recent of Liverpool’s teenage scorers before the Leeds game, Sterling’s name had been heard in dimly lit bars all over Merseyside following his incredible form for the youth team, and he confirmed the hype with a well-taken far post finish to give Liverpool a 1-0 victory over Reading in 2012. Image Source: Twitter
"I'm sat in the chair and she's gone round me and she's started placing her hands all over my head, all over my arms, all over my shoulders and she said I had two demons inside me, which was not bad because Gazza had five – I was happy with that.” This is a quote from Robbie Fowler about going to see infamous mystic, Eileen Drewery. Like Gazza, Fowler was never far away from controversy during his career, but had immense talent to match. Image Source: Twitter
Perhaps an unexpected addition to the list, Carragher went on to score only three goals in 508 games for the club. He may have had an illustrious career with the Reds, but to find him in a goalscoring list wedged between such legendary names as Robbie Fowler and Florent Sinama-Pongolle is surprising. Image Source: Twitter
Here he is: A man who brings a wry, nostalgic smile to Premier League fans and takes them back to halcyon days before Anthony Le Tallec became the new Zinedine Zidane. Sinama-Pongolle scored just four days after his 19th birthday to help Liverpool beat, funnily enough, Leeds. He then took the typical route up the footballing ladder, enjoying spells at Atlético Madrid and Sporting CP before securing a dream move to Dundee United and later Chainat Hornbill FC. Image Source: Twitter
It’s hard not to live in the shade of your father when he is both famous and as shady as ‘Arry, but Jamie Redknapp managed to make a name for himself. He was regarded as Liverpool’s – and England’s – next big thing when he got a winner against Chelsea in September 1992. Injury curtailed his impact on English football, but did he win an FA Cup, make millions, marry Louise and then secure a cushty punditry role at Sky; it’s not all bad, is it? Image Source: This is Anfield
Probably the biggest hero the Kop has ever had, which takes some doing when you think of all the greats to have played on Merseyside. His recent retirement means all the superlatives have already been recently used, but this is probably the player Woodburn grew up hoping to emulate. Perhaps Gerrard will even be tutoring the youngster if, as rumoured, he returns to the club in a coaching capacity. Image Source: Twitter
Through a quirk of David N'Gog being the oldest teenager to have scored his first goal for Liverpool, we’ve managed to save you the best until last. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so I’ll stop there rather than tell some long, imagined success story about Ngog’s career. Things didn’t really take off. Image Source: The Anfield Wrap
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Funnily enough, the only person who came out of the whole Karius-gate debacle well, was Chris Sutton – yeah, random, right?!
After needlessly calling out the Neville brothers, Klopp then opted to drop Loris Karius for the Reds game against Middlesbrough, with Simon Mignolet coming in between the sticks – ultimately, Klopp has accepted that the former Manchester United pair were correct in their assessment of the German goalkeeper and further heightened the debate and spotlight around his goalkeepers; a poor management call from the 49-year-old.
More concerning for Liverpool, though, is the fact this is the third December in a row that their first choice ‘keeper has been dropped. Where’s Sander Westerveld when you need him?