Ross Barkley set for £50million move to Manchester United; Barkley interesting Chelsea; Everton starlet everything England have been waiting for.
The future was meant to be bright for the attacking-midfielder, with the above headlines taking up column inches after Barkley’s debut against Queens Park Rangers in 2011 – a game in which saw a few lesser media publications name him Man of the Match.
Very quickly, as per usual, England started losing its shit over the prodigal son; the boy sent from the heavens to rescue the Three Lions from years of ineptitude.
“[Barkley will] be one of the best players we’ll ever see in this country.”
Out of his depth ‘pundit’, who bypassed all journalism courses, wage structures and work experience spells to end up with a high-profile and envious job, makes over-the-top claim based on minutes of football, ends up being wrong.
Shocked? Of course you aren’t; absolute bunch of wasters, the lot of them – apart from Chris Sutton; I randomly have a lot of time for him.
That was Louis Saha speaking on 10th August 2011, before Ross Barkley had even made his first-team debut for the Toffees.
In the same article, then-Everton defender, Sylvain Distin said the following on Barkley:
“He seems to be an amazing player but the problem is after one or two games people put too much expectation on the young players. I want to give him time. But definitely he’s got quality.”
The former Manchester City centre-back sounded like he almost got it, regarding the media pressure and hyperbole, but let himself down right at the end of the quote.
So, before Barkley has stepped out onto the Goodison Park turf for a Premier League fixture, before the then-17-year-old has taken in any of a proper match day experience and before Barkley’s name has even been read out over the tannoy, he’s going to become England’s best ever player.
The sad thing is, the Ross Barkley that we are seeing now, is that the Ross Barkley that we were always going to get? Or has the unnecessary over-the-top pressure and expectancy placed upon him, crippled his footballing ability? And you’ve even got to consider that maybe Barkley wasn’t even going to be as good as he is now, without the hyperbole that surrounded him…
12 players you wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire
Lee Hughes is currently playing non-league football at the age of 40 when he should be rotting away in a cell.
Thirteen years ago this detriment to society caused death by dangerous driving, before continually denying the charge despite the courts proving he was lying.
Hughes was released three years into his six-year sentence. What a joke.
A well-known cockwomble on the pitch, Bellamy has been involved in four separate incidents of assault despite never being convicted - funny what being a footballer can do.
People like this don't deserve to be earning millions of pounds, they deserve to be sweeping the roads and getting splashed with water by oncoming commuters. Get in the fucking bin.
Dirty. Just dirty. Nigel Winterburn may have been considered a hero to some Arsenal fans, but he'd probably get a similar reaction to those on Game of Thrones by the rest of the footballing landscape.
The guy was never really even good enough to be considered a top player either, as highlighted by just two appearances for England. Fact.
El Hadji Diouf
Jesus even his face is enough to make you squirm. In France, in England and even in Scotland this utter shitbag has been responsible for doing some pretty horrible things on the pitch.
Spitting seemed to be his trademark move over the course of his career, in addition to a range of smaller transgressions. But hey, let's not downplay this - Diouf is the lowest of the low.
Let's save some time and make ourselves a list. Terry was fined for comments made during an incident with Americans after 9/11. Terry assaulted a bouncer. Terry reportedly had an extramarital affair with Wayne Bridge's girlfriend and he was also banned for a number of games due to racial abuse.
Can we just lock him up right now and throw away the key?
Having been labeled as unprofessional by many of his former teammates and managers, it's no wonder that Mark Bosnich finds himself on this list.
The guy flushed his career down the toilet as he developed a cocaine addiction which saw the keeper slip down the ranks in the footballing landscape. Add that to a number of other acts including doing a Nazi salute. Dickhead.
This one goes without saying really. Barton has always been, and will likely always be an insufferable piece of shit. The only difference is that now he feels as if he's gained some sort of notorious reputation that makes the guy untouchable. Wrong.
Whether it was breaking the nose and jaw of a fellow teammate or behaving like a retarded and rabid pitbull on the pitch, Dennis Wise was never far away from controversy.
Many saw him as a leader and a scrappy, determined player on the pitch - but forget all that. Wise disguised his lack of ability with this reckless mentality. Good for him, I guess.
Aside from making vile comments to Zidane in the World Cup Final, Marco Materazzi has a history with being a massive bellend.
The Italian has always been billed as a "hard man" but that's just a 'cool' way of saying that he brought the game into disrepute.
Even Pepe's face is just, urgh.
Purposely injuring players, behaving as if he's bigger than every team he's ever been on and shitting all over the people who gave him a chance - that's Roy Keane for you, folks.