There are so many great things about football in this country that it almost seems wrong to focus on the negatives. But then, what would the world be without a balanced force? These absolute crimes against nature are sure as anything going to get your riled up just reading through this list.
Radical Haircuts
Mr Paul Pogba is particularly guilty of this one. Fair enough if you want to maintain a certain image, but only if the image you're looking to recreate is 'massive bellend'. Otherwise, it's a spectacular failure.
Source: Twitter
Boot Changes
One pink boot and one yellow boot, changing them to all black at half-time, having boots that go up to your knees - STOP. Stick some black Umbros on and do your job.
Source: Twitter
Zlatan’s Confidence
Stop referencing your own first name in interviews, you utter cockwomble. You may be a wonderful, wonderful footballer but you aren't a WWE wrestler. End of.
Source: Twitter
Diving
How in the world is this still an issue in 2016? Shockingly enough the art of diving only appears to be growing with every passing year, as players are starting to expand their resumés to include mediocre acting performances.
Source: Twitter
Referee Abuse
This was supposedly outlawed at the start of this season but it appears to be as fresh as a daisy with everyone effing and blinding in front of the man in charge. Learn some respect.
Source: Twitter
Elbows
Once again this may only be directed towards one player, but it's not like it doesn't happen around the league too. Fellaini, we get that you're massive, but keep your arms to yourself for the love of god man.
Source: Twitter
Nicknames
Shall we start whacking "Wazza" onto the back of Rooney's shirt? No. This is stupid.
Source: Twitter
SEE ALSO: The shocking stories from footballers’ Christmas parties
I think we all need a nice cup of tea and a lie down after that, because simply listing these atrocities has the same effect as blaring death metal into your headphones at 3am. Be smart kids – don’t be an arsehole and do one of these things.
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