West Ham have to sign former Manchester United forward

Forget Jermain Defoe, West Ham, it’s never going to happen. To nab the Englishman off the Black Cats you’d need to pay David Moyes in excess of a fee which it is to keep you in the Premier League; the striker is that precious to Sunderland.

And, as good as Simone Zaza has been for the Hammers with a total of zero goals so far in the Premier League; Slaven Bilic has confirmed that the Italian won’t ever be in a claret and blue shirt again. Are we really all that surprised…

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You’ve then got Andy Carroll; less likely to play a full season than my Nan completing dry January. And, then there’s Andre Ayew, who doesn’t seem to know his ass from his elbow at the moment, and is better getting a train back to South Wales to help Paul Clement out – Gylfi Sigurðsson can’t carry the Swans forever.

So, how are the Hammers going to solve the issue? Look no further than an out-of-favour – and reportedly, unpopular – Bundesliga forward, Javier Hernández. German paper, Bild, has suggested the forward is losing pals left right and centre in the Bayer Leverkusen camp, due to unfriendliness in training and lack of motivation in matches. Get that Mexican out of Germany, thought we’d never say that?…

The forward would be the perfect poacher for West Ham. The former Manchester United man knows the Premier League, excellent in the six-yard box, and has pace. People have slammed Dimitri Payet, this year, yet he’s still miles ahead in creating chances for his side. The combination of the two could surely see the forward bag 10 goals in the second half of the season; absolute no brainer.

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Even though Hernández is on a shocking dry spell at Bayer Leverkusen, and struggling to break back into the XI; Manchester United fans will say how they’ve alway regretted the sale of, Chicharito, and how he was poorly treated at Old Trafford under the dictatorial Louis van Gaal. The likes of Arsenal have previously chased Hernandez, which highlights what a quality player the former United man is; would have him over Danny Welbeck every day of the week.

A change of pace back to life in England would be the perfect cure for the Leverkusen striker, who has allegedly turned to a hypnotist to help his goal drought; surely there is some unfinished business in the Premier League? Get that man to London, get that man in the West Ham side, get that man on the end of Dimitri Payet’s crosses.

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