You don’t need to be a genius to see that Manchester City have been struggling in recent weeks. And in a move to try and regain some team spirit, boss Pep Guardiola took them to the cinema.
The choice of film was La La Land, the musical comedy starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. It’s been a massive hit with critics and audiences alike and looks to feature heavily when it comes to awards being handed out. Unlike Manchester City.
After conceding that his side won’t win the title, Pep realised he needed to get them geared up for the arrival of Spurs. The mind boggles over who smuggled in their own sweets or who was desperate for a shot on the bike machine in the arcade after. But what other films could they have seen that are at the movies just now?
A spin off from the Star Wars galaxy about the rebels mission to steal plans for the Death Star. Or it could be based on Yaya Toure. One minute he’s away because City forgot his birthday, the next he’s back but he might be going to China. When he puts his mind to it he’s indispensable but seems easily distracted just now.
It’s a heavyweight Martin Scorsese epic about a couple of Jesuit priests who go in search of their missing mentor in Japan. It could also be about those ten seconds after Pep gets asked a straightforward question when he’s being interviewed following a City defeat.
Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in a brainy sci-fi story set in space. Or perhaps it’s a good way to describe the rest of City’s strike force in relation to Sergio Aguero. If it wasn’t for the Argentinian’s contribution when it comes to goals then they could be in a far worse position.
Manchester By The Sea
Casey Affleck has put himself in contention for an Oscar by starring in this tale of loss and redemption. A man returns to his hometown when faced with the death of his brother. Despite the depressing subject it’s heavy on laughs. Unlike the Etihad Stadium, just now.
A comedy starring Bryan Cranston as an over-protective dad who disapproves of his daughter’s billionaire boyfriend. But it could feature goalie Claudio Bravo whose inept displays have left City fans wondering why he plays for them.
The Bye Bye Man
A horror film about a supernatural entity who goes after people whenever they say or think his name. Or if Guardiola fails to deliver for much longer it could be himself who’ll be saying ‘Bye, bye.’
Football’s seven most iconic films
7) United Passions
Honestly, this is hands down the worst football film, but also the worst ever film in general. With stars such as, Tim Roth and Sam Neill, it managed a hilarious $918 on it's opening weekend in North America.
Largely down to the fact that it's representing FIFA in good light, after those fuckers put 30 mill behind it. All copies should be shoved up Sepp Blatter's area where the sun doesn't shine.
6) Looking for Eric
Slight improvement from United Passions. This British film starring the iconic, Eric Cantona, is about how the Frenchman inspired a recovering alcoholic to sort his life out with his kids and ex-wife.
The footballing maverick helps in many different ways, but it didn't help when Cantona started doing those bloody 1664 adverts.
5) Mean Machine
Filled with a stellar cast, of the usual suspects; your Jason Stathams, Vinnie Jones, Danny Dyers, it's pretty obvious what you're going to get. A load of blokes behind bars, trying to get through prison life via the beautiful game.
A good 90-minute killer, but not one to write home about.
4) Green Street
Was a toss up between Frodo's quest to find his second ring, or Football Factory. But, Green Street just about came on top due to that Northern bloke trying to do a cockney accent... bloody hilarious.
Entertaining for many of reasons, but for those that haven't seen it, and intend to, we don't recommend getting your Nan round for a spot of cake and tea.
3) Bend It Like beckham
Oh christ, now we're talking. What a film this is. If you've not watched it, please do. Plus, Kiera Knightly's in it - tick.
All about how an Indian girl, Jessminder, (I can hear her Mum saying it now), tries to pursue her passion for football, in an attempt to get a scholarship to America. A highlight of 2002, and must see for those that haven't.
A very close second for this brilliant film. Featuring Newcastle's greatest ever striker, Santiago Munez - sorry Shearer.
This classic takes you through the journey of Munez' hardships in Mexico to St James' Park. With the help of the stunning, Anna Friel, along the way - wow.
1) The Damned United
Telling the story of the legend, Brian Clough's, tough time at Leeds and career at Derby. One of the most amazing and entertaining managers to brace the beautiful game.
Michael Sheen, throughout the film gets the Nottingham man spot on. Reflecting the brilliant working relationship with Peter Taylor at the Rams. Informative, humorous, and a credit to the game. "I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one". Brian Clough.