Arsenal have reached the Groundhog Day of Groundhog Days; it’s all over. Bill Murray has realised what is going on, and wants out. The cycle of heroic failure is crumbling and so is Arsene Wenger.
What is currently going on down at London Colney and the Emirates Stadium has become so poisonous and stagnated that we have a situation where a player’s decision to storm out of training early is bringing about sympathy. Normally, as we’ve seen with Dimitri Payet and Diego Costa this season, the general mentality around such situations is for fans and the media alike to trot out the usual diatribe: “No one is bigger than the club.”
But there’s – rightly or wrongly – sympathy with Arsenal’s frustrated ‘born winner’, Alexis Sanchez, and the reasoning behind his frustrations.
Those frustrations? As the above video shows, Olivier Giroud.
CLICKON Soccer spoke to sources close to Alexis Sanchez earlier today; they were happy for us to use their real names, so here’s what Humber and Atom had to say:
“It all started when Alexis first threw a tantrum at Bournemouth. In the dressing room, Olivier Giroud – who regularly refers to Sanchez as ‘Oompa-Loompa’ – picked up Alexis, whilst he was kicking and screaming on the floor like a four-year-old in Tesco who has been told he can’t have the Maomis, and hooked him on his clothes peg.
“Everyone was laughing at Sanchez, even Arsene Wenger came in and did a comical mickey-taking impression of the Looney Tunes cartoon character, Road Runner.
“Once the laughing had subsided, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain did a big speech about how the Gunners were underdogs against the Cherries, and how no one expected them to get a point, so they should be hugely proud of their efforts against Eddie Howe’s side. Ending things with: it’s basically a trophy.
“This all went on with Sanchez helplessly hanging from the dressing room coat hook.”
“Since then, things between Sanchez and the squad – especially Giroud and him – have only got worse.
“Upon finding out that the Frenchman would be starting against Liverpool, instead of him, Sanchez made the following comment in a thick Chilean/London accent (hell of a combo): “Good to see Arsenal are doing some charity work.”
“Giroud didn’t hear the comment, thankfully, as he was measuring the length of his beard and making sure no hair was longer than 2.65cm.”
So there we have it, Arsenal fans; Olivier Giroud is the one you can blame – because you always need someone to – and not the guy who turned up to training and went: “I’m going to not try very hard at work today because I’m a born winner and no one really understands me.”