Arsenal fans’ foolproof five-step plan to remove Wenger

Ben Mountain

#Arsene-bloody-Wenger. Can anyone really be bothered with this age old debate anymore? Are you #WengerIn or #WengerOut? Chances are you don’t really care. It’s just funny to watch all these Arsenal fans getting riled up.

Only, in reality, there is a group of people who really do care as to where Arsene Wenger’s future lies. This group are the rapidly radicalising Wenger Out-ers. And they’ll go to almost any length to show their presence.

In fact, it’s getting a bit ridiculous. Some of the extremes that this group of rebellious north Londoners are going to are doing little to shift the stubborn French gaffer and are only serving to humiliate the club he represents.

But for those on the outside, it’s really quite amusing.

Arsenal TV, Gunnersaurus and #WengerOut are three wonderful inventions that keep us non-Arsenal fans entertained on a daily basis.

Where next will frustrated Arsenal fans turn? How else will they convey their message of discontent?

We – at CLICKON – have done a bit of digging around to find out. Wondering where the next mutinous display of stroppiness will come from? Wonder no more.

1) Emirates protest

Rumour has it that Arsenal fans have been plotting. In an unexpected move, they’re planning to stage a protest like never before.

Thousands of fans have banded together in unison to really disrupt the status quo. Arsenal fans, for the first time in years, are planning to sing at the Emirates. Actually making noise, we mean.

It will no doubt send shock-waves throughout the world of football and raise attention for the #WengerOut cause.

2) Banners. Lots of them

We’ve seen them all before. Either flying from the backside of a rented plane or being solemnly upheld at various festivals and matches, Arsenal fans make sure they get noticed.

At a recent board meeting, the committee of the #WengerOut fan base drew up some new banner-based ideas.

They included; hanging across Big Ben’s clock face, as a cloak around Robbie from Fan TV and in place of the Union Jack at Buckingham. Bold ideas indeed.

3) A big red bus

Bizarrely, buses seem to be a common form of campaign in this country. Every big political party has trotted around in a nice big bus at some point or the other.

And Arsenal are no different.

Reportedly considering the notion of investing in a double-decker, red and white bus with “By sacking Arsene Wenger, we can provide 28 new hospitals, 46 new primary schools and solve the crisis in Palestine” emblazoned across it, the anti-Wenger factions feel this will offer a clear and persuasive message to any doubters. All the information is factual, they assure.

4) Hijack Arsenal Fan TV

If this crazy idea takes flight, it’ll be mayhem. With plans to take over production indefinitely until Wenger gets the boot, the idea here is supposedly to drum up a wider support network for the cause and reach out to a larger fan base.

With subliminal messaging, anti-Wenger propaganda and interactive competitions for the family lot; this hijacking could just do the trick.

So be careful the next time you hop onto YouTube: you could hop off it a brain-dead, drooling mess as you slur ‘Wenger Out’ nonsensically. Psychological warfare.


Referendum time. By combining all of the above tactics, Wexiteers feel they’ll manage to pull off the impossible.

Could we see another referendum just around the corner? Could Arsene Wenger finally wave goodbye to the Emirates? Only time will tell.

But if he does, one question will be left unanswered.

Does Wexit mean Wexit?

Cheerio, Arsene, Your time is up.

Start the discussion

to comment